As One Chapter Ends Another Begins.

As I prepare to say goodbye to 2011, I glance back on the lessons learned and  accomplishments achieved.  Blissful that some chapters have ended in my life, others are ending and a few that need to find there way to an end.  I acknowledge all I have gone through and prepare to continue to go through until lessons are eventually fully learnt.  The thing with lessons....They never "just disappear".  They do come back later in life to resurrect like old soldiers, to test and push ones limits again and again.  In an attempt to finally be understood and perhaps even put to rest for once and for all.

Too say that this year was smooth would be a drastic misinterpretation upon my part.  Pushed beyond limits I normally would never have dreamt to cross.  I found myself for the fist time surrendering to many things I normally would have had the energy or spirit to want to fight.  There is something to be said for true surrendering. Not that found out of weakness of will but that found out of finding true peace within.  That place where one finally admits to oneself that to go on in the direction formally chosen would be a determent to oneself as well as all involved.

Surrender, was not one of my easiest achievable task.  However, after enough waves crashed down upon me this entire year I finally submitted to what was, is or will be.  As I find my way to other paths, I focus on restructuring and elongating my former ideas into a new image.  Have I learned this lesson completely?  I'm sure the answer would be no but I am however, farther along then when I started.  I am certainly stronger then I once was and I have faith that all I have endured is for my highest purpose.  Fore, as much as I have questioned my faith and trust in spirit profusely this year;  I have somehow never felt closer.

The wounds are still fresh.  The images still raw from the challenges and battles fought.  The lessons still needing to be processed and absorbed fully, but I give abundant thanks to the tremendous support within my life.  Here on earth and above for sustaining me when I felt I couldn't.  When I felt I was broken.  Fore, in those darkest times the light shined even more magnificent and I could (if just for a moment) realize all was not lost.

It is true what they say....How angels live amongst us.  I have had the eminent pleasure of meeting many who have graced me with their love, kindness and generosity of spirit.  Many who have come to seek my support and in return have sustained life within me instead. I give repeated thanks to all I have been given.  Although this year will stick out in my mind for many to come.  I pay homage to my spirit still being here to further learn.  Happy New Years my beloveds and may your journeys be just as blessed in whatever path you chose.   *Big Hugs*
~M

Looking Glass

As I set my goals for 2012 I peak with excitement over the thought of actually getting some of my works published.  One of my many goals for years now.  I finally feel the need, want and yes...Shall I dare say it.  The desire to want to embark on that type of an adventure this upcoming year.  As the shifts occur, yearnings heighten and ideas blossom.  What better time then the year of the Mayan calender to allow myself to make these things happen.  So....I leave you with another tidbit from my steamer trunk of marvels to read, be inspired by and hopefully feel your own tingling of desire to live life authentically and most of all audaciously. 

Looking Glass

She looks through the looking glass with unassuming wonder.  All she sees is the youthful appearance, lasting love and happiness distorted.  Her smile, she smiles shows the test of ecstasy uncovered.  A childlike appearance at the grace of being discovered.  The joy which would start as a subtle note becomes quite something more.  Before she knows it her eyes are filled with contempt where callousness once sought.

He looks through the looking glass and all he sees is distorted clutter.  A vague picture of what could be but too time consuming to discover.  He conquers through the excess and gets to the prize.  A pint size pearl he claims as his for his deserving time.  He doesn't look back in fear, fore he may see.  All that illuminates is more then just the beautiful pearls sheen.  Taken by such a collection, he keeps it close within his grasp.  To brag and boast of his heroic past.  He awes and marvels at it every once in awhile.  Even though its cream, he dearly wishes it were anything but such.

This pearl of uncontaminated beauty, with its illustrious sheen.  Has now begin to crack around the edges from his constant mishandling.  The creaminess can no longer maintain its pureness and begins to turn to grey.  It dissolves its creamiest parts somewhere in attempts that no one will seek to see.  Soon he caste aside the pearl into a box.  Along with keys and such that have long outlived their duty, as masters of the lock.

She looks through the looking glass and all this time she sees, is what is....Instead of once what could be.  A grim and bleak existence of the illumination to the thought of what once was.  She grips the handle tighter and peering deeper into the glass does she.  To discover what lies deep beneath the surface is that of a true mystery.

The glass provides her with no more information for it has outlived its stay.  Instead when she looks into it this time all she sees is she.  Just a faintness of cream remains within the inner source.  Not at all as luminous as once was but very much wanting to be restored.
 ~M

Black Feather....Black Feather....Tis Is I Who Sees You

As most of you are aware of I recently lost my Great Aunt to cancer this year.  Having made it to her ninety first Birthday, her life was far from boring.  She was a tenaciously strong-willed and fathomable women.  One whom I honored and cherished as a role model for many of my various endeavors.  Always there as a backer in all I chose to take on, I basked in her naches of me.  Since the day of her passing, I have been repeatedly gifted with black feathers.  Now those of my dearest and closest know well my home is nothing but a feather haven.  Down pillows and comforters, couch cushions and feather lined garments.  However, I rarely find black feathers floating throughout my home, car and varies visited establishments.

That has of course all changed these last two weeks.  First impression was a proverbial feeling of warmth and compassion that yes indeed spirit was mourning along beside me.  Supporting me in my humanistic time of grief and sorrow.  That quickly changed as the days drew on and the feathers quickly increased.  Black feathers on my pillow case upon waking up.  Black feathers on a restaurant table.  Black feathers on a public sink counter, in a photo album, in the car console, at a friends house and even one small black feather lying across my cats back.  Rather its symbolic of her passing, her presence still with me (even in the after life) or simply a clue that certain times have come to an end.  I honor the symbol bestowed upon me.  This black feather consort.  I give thanks not only to the unknown, but also to my newly heightened awareness to see such gifting as truly a gift.
~M

Welcoming "The Pointe" Into My Life Creating a Peaceful Heart

Every since I could remember I have been enthralled with ballet.  The grace and precision of movements.  The beauty and gleam of the elegant costumes worn during productions like the Nutcracker or Sleeping Beauty.  The beauty captured through years of dedication, hard work and discipline, creating a master piece to be shared by the general public.  As a little girl placed in every dance class but ballet I envied my friends who were.  Classified as having weak ankles early on I was cast aside to to take up activities like tap, tumbling and equestrian riding.  However, my heart always belonged to the rhythem of ballet.  Fast forwarding decades ahead and now at the ripe age of thirty three I have begun to finally live my childhood dream.

As any Guru will tell you.  To dream big is to embrace life.  So taking the advice of the Gurus who have graced my former years I decided in a instant to embrace my hearts desire and quickly immersed myself into "The Pointe" or rather the beginner positions of grace.  After years of studying yoga I felt there was never a better time to achieve discipline and expand my present day knowledge of the human form.  Therefore, choosing to study ballet, that which repetitiously tries and taxes the body.  No sooner did I utter my words of want and desire did I become blessed by the Universe.  Receiving private lessons from a former yoga client of mine who danced in the New York City Ballet.  Having had her own studio and now formerly retired, CD agreed to take me on as her one and only private student.  Oh the excitement and glee that penetrated my body transforming me into not that of the present day adult but instead that of the child who's miraculous wish was finally coming true.

I watched as my family, friends and clients honored my decision to dance and supported my efforts.  Not only with encouragement but with ballet shoes, outfits and reading material.  Basking in their love and praise I have found that it truly is never too late to live out a dream.  In the end it is "We" who put a stop to our inner most desires.  We who limit proceeding forward.  We who's negative self-talk creeps in to destroy that which is beautiful, pure and whole.  Telling us lies about not being good enough, pretty enough or young enough.  In the end it is We who limit the possibilities for ourselves.  When and only when We are able to achieve balance within and calm the voice inside can We further succeed.  As I learn intense discipline, curbing the want to cry as my body and positions are rigorously picked over.  Allowing the pain I feel within my body to keep me present as I rest my foot on the barre.  I finally find myself becoming my own best friend as I leave a lesson tattered, sweaty and looking in shambles.  Today I give homage to my practice of yoga through my practice of ballet, relishing in a peaceful heart as I lay silently in Shavasana (Corpse pose).  Giving quiet thanks to have this chance to just surrender.....to what currently just is.
~M

The winds of change

As the comfort of once was begins to shift into what is, the journey is not always a rather smooth one.  Try as we might to hold on grasping for the known we get sweeped away in the currents of life.  As we glance back behind us (owning the choice to do so) we reshape and characterize that which we see.  That which we have already lived.  Either for the purpose of positive growth or for the negativity which holds us back and keeps us unaccountable.  For everything in life can be made into a reality and every individual has a story.  However at the end of the day what truly matters is your reality to your story.  Your truth, your understanding, your version of what is.  It is in that version that critics your next move in life.  The next chapter rather to your own story.

Breathe Life Into Me

In taking a short respite from blogging I took the opportunity to entertain myself by rummaging through some of my streamer trunks filled with examples of my older writings.  All those who know me best understand the excitement I relish in when it comes to my artistic flair with words.  It truly is my sanctuary where I have the liberty to fully express and play with the formations that come.  As I start listening more and more to those same friends cheering me on to write a book, I have decided to test the waters with an example of one of my favorite pieces I wrote a few years ago while questioning spirituality......Hard for me to imagine words like this coming from me now at this point in my life.  Little rusty but i'm looking forward to channeling the creative energy once again.  Hope you enjoy the piece as much as I did when I wrote it!!!!!!


My beautiful being.  My perfect illustration of man.  My illicit conquest with your perfect form and adorning eyes.  How I wait for you to fill me with your all knowingness.  Oh how I breathe in the breath of your holiness through the pores of your body.  To be close to you, to smell you, to feel your touch upon my skin is to know God.  How may one ever be normal after one has been graced by the hand of God.  Seen by the eyes of God and known by the servant of God.  Advised by the tongue of God.  To lie in your wakeness is to be consumed by your majestic spiritualism.  I want to lay in your presence for eternity.  To pray to be your devout worshiper.  To give thanks and praise to your magnificent self.  I pay tribute to your beauty and strength of character.

Where did you go when I needed you most as my confidant?  Where were you my blessed being?  Why did you abandon me out of choice when I needed you most.  When I needed you near.  When I needed your touch, your stroke, your embrace.  I cried and you did not come for me this time.  I cried louder and you heard not.  My sacred presence.....Why have you forsaken me?  My perfect spiritual being I have left the door open but you have yet to walk through.  You have abandon me when it was I who should have abandon you. 

Oh great torturer; nomad of the plains.  You have captured my longing heart in years time as well as my famishing sense of pride.  Away with you and bless me with crisp surrenderance instead of ones hau`te arrogance.  Quiet my wandering tempestuous mannerism with one cool eloquent brush of the hand.  Take your turn to dance.  Breathe softness into my form.  Enrich me with your stroke,  Breathe life into me.  Awaken me once again to begin.  Surrender.  Surrender your sword into my heart and let me feel the burn of truth, of judgement  and yes....resurrection.

Glide me across the floor like a bellowing heap, soft mounds reshaping into unfathomable remembrance.  Elude me once more with your truth.  Caste your glance into my eyes and say not, you love me.  Rest your sword and for a moments time, once again I ask.....You share your ensemble wisdom.  Breath life into me.  Paddle my head with chimes of far off adventures, bliss charades of contentment and the bowing of ones innerself.  Ask not for me to risk my soul in order to honor your good name.  Ask not for me to know what song plays the rythmatic melody that teaches me to dance like so.  Ask nothing and yes....Once again I ask for you to breathe life into me.

May I come to know your name.  This nomad on a journey that shall be walked by none other.  May I come to understand the meaning of the trickling elixir spread upon my lips.  May I come not to question the severity of your sword as it pierces my flesh each surviving time and may I ask once again.  As I often do.  Breathe life into me.  Fore without you there will be no sword to my truth.
~M

Open Heart Meditation

As you begin to become aware of your state of breath.  You find yourself following it, allowing the inhale to lead you deep within yourself.  Discovering the rhythm of your heart beat as it patters in procession with the rest of your body.  Feeling the blood being pumped throughout in a silent gushing motion.  Taking this time for yourself, you become aware of the state of your body.  Listening to it for signs or evidence as to whats going on at this particular moment.  As you bring full awareness to the sensations felt within, you begin to release any tension, stress, negativity and begin to ease even further into a state of pure relaxation.  Allowing your mind to peacefully drift and float.  Moving forwards and backwards, you soon find yourself traveling along a path.  This path within nature begins to lead you directly into the middle of the woods.  Surrounded by ancient trees, with their branches heavily laden with a canopy of leaves.  The breeze soft and effortlessly begins to flow through the sky rustling the leaves ever so gently overhead.  You find your eyes glazing up in wonderment and awe.  Noticing the extrinsic detail of the lined bark upon the branches and the coloration of the multitude of finely textured leaves.  Soon you begin following the merriment sound of birds singing in the near distance, as their wings allow for their bodies to float and glide from branch to branch without difficulty.  Breathing in the air that surrounds, you become fully aware of the scents that fill your lungs.  Allowing for their detection to uncover memories from within your heart.  Times long ago once again claim their space within the forefront of your mind.  A gift from within pushing its way to be remembered once more.  As you ease into the sensations surrounding your body giving yourself the time needed to engage in these thoughts and feelings.  Honoring yourself, as well as your body by uncovering fully that which lies within you.  The comforting breeze of mother nature coaxes you gently through the process as she nudges you forward along the trail like a mothers hand pressed lovingly against your lower back.  You do not fight her but rather willingly allow for her to lead you into a beautiful clearing filled with love.  Silently you slump onto the ground allowing for the earth to embrace your body with her sweet caress and allow yourself to have an experience.  As she closes off your senses to the outside world, your eyes close momentarily and all you see before you is that which lies within you.  You begin traveling through the corridors of your inner self.  Allowing for the light within to lead you through the catacomb of life's experiences.  A knowingness within supplies you with the foresight of how to navigate such tunnels and with agility you weave your way through.  Captivated by the information which appears before you in the form of images, words, or perhaps sense.  You embrace this knowledge which is you with love and acceptance and allow for the wholeness it provides to be reacquainted with the rest of your memories. 

Soon you stand before a door.        

To Be Continued.........            

Engaging in the Art of Simplicity

Recently conversing with my friend D.C. a lull in the conversation brought up the subject of simplicity.  As I stated that I long for a life of it D.C. retracted, "Simplicity.....What ever does that mean to you?"   Stumped in a momentary pause as my conscious mind rapidly searched the files within my head I tentatively answered.  A mind numbing answer as the realism hit me that I didn't quite know what simple meant to me.  As I look back on that conversation I ask myself, what is simplicity?  Is it truly something that exist or is it simply the euphoria of wanting that which is a created illusion.  As I delve deeper into the troughs on the subject I realize that i'm not as simple as I would like to think.  Simple minded......not quite, simply dressed.....not really, simple living....a want not yet achieved.  Hmmmm this idea of simplicity was becoming more complicated then I would like to admit.  As I sit and ponder this conundrum on this beautiful sun drenched morning my eyes explicitly wander outdoors.  Simplicity!!  Awe yes, is the ability to sit in the morning sun without needing to be anywhere then where I am at this present moment.  It is the enjoyment I find in my morning choice of tea.  It is the sound of the magnificent high pitch squeak made by the dozen or so hummingbirds chasing after their morning nectar.  It is the sense of calm radiating off my body as I gaze at the beauty of my English garden.  It is the pleasantry of bestowing blessings upon the world as I salute each days arrival with sun salutations.  It is the joy of performing daily rituals such as showering or misting myself with one of my favorite perfumes.  It is the sensation of selecting a pair of gorgeous heels and being delighted in the sound as they click against my hardwood floors.  It is the tantalization of a bonfire as the flames lap up the oxygen of the nights sky.  It is the revelation that comes to mind when I slip under my down comforter and exhale a long breath of peace.  Its where I lend myself to as the fall season invades my dreams with the promise of a turn of events.  It is the flow of words that poetically come together as I write this blog.  Yes, I am safe to say that this to me is what floats through my mind when I allow myself to engage in the art of simplicity.  Whats yours??
~M 

Is patience truly a virtue worth seeking

Hurry up and wait appears to be the game selected to be played this month.  Shall we dare say the lesson to be learned is "patience" or perhaps something far different.  As I pour every effort known to man into my beloved fur baby I look to seek answers, signs, messages and body responses to gauge what I am to expect of this particular outcome.  Is his temperature as high as it was yesterday?  Did he consume enough calories?  Am I following the instructions given properly?  Is there any receivable validation available to assure me i'm doing a good job?  The weeks pass by and the exhaustion, fatigue and general low deposition begin to slip in from round the clock feedings, heightened emotions and bodily rejections of my best attempts at success.  The continuous quandary as to, am I doing this for him or for me at this point?  The question plays in my mind like a repetitious tape recorder every time I pace in and out of rooms.  Once upon seeing his frail body peacefully sleeping, another when he begs me for a treat.  As I surrender to that which has outlived it purpose in my life in order to keep that which I cherish most, I begin to falter.  Once again questioning my choices, my answers, my beliefs, my definitions and my purpose.  Something where as in my near past I would never have resorted to.  As the time lapses so does my faith in myself.  Never do I question my faith that we will beat this disease together, but I question my faith in me that I am of stamina to fight this crafty opponent known as death.  As I continuously run Reiki on Halibut I  struggle to see the line where holistic improvement meets modern medical procedure and rely on outside validation to sooth my aching soul.  Once again allowing the universe to play devils advocate.  Improvement in outer doesn't always mean improvement within.  As I admire my beautiful friend with his polished coat, gleaming eyes from weeks of drip IV, vitamins, herbs and high doses of medication I still face the dread of what the future test results will bring.  As I run my hand along his body and intuitive feel the fire beginning to subside within his body.  I listen to the chatter of test results indicating the dreaded "C" word cant be ruled out at this present moment.  Hurry and wait pulsates throughout my mind once more......
~M      

That which ties feline to human

For the last two weeks a roller coaster of emotions has ridden throughout my body.  Restless slumber nights, subdued eating habits and lack luster acknowledgement to thrills swirling around.  When events occur which rock our placid shores it gives us true meaning to our belief systems.  Do we hold up the wall or allow for it to crumbly under the minuet amount of strain?  Do we ostracize ourselves and others in the attempt to create healthy boundaries?  Or do we build fences instead to protect our fear.  For all who know me, you are well aware of my feline companion Sir Francis Aka Halibut as being the love of my life.  I have never known for there to be a bond that can run so deep before I met my cat.  He is truly the greatest gift I have ever received.  He has played an enormous role in my life over the years.  He was my travel companion when I feared driving, was with me when I said, I Do to my husband, decorated my first place with nail, teeth and fur marks, accompanied me on a multitude of Starbucks trips, listen to me when I had a less then spectacular day, slept with me when I didn't want to sleep alone, indulged me by wearing holiday costumes, patiently awaited for me to snap a multitude of pictures of him and licked my forehead when I was feeling under the weather.  Over the last 9 years he has held his place within my heart as being my ember of light.  As he fights on to survive his own illness I take the time to cherish all that i've had, do have and will have with him.  I marvel at his amazing spirit and will to continue on fighting.  I feel honored that such a remarkable little creature has blessed me with so much love and has allowed for me to be such a large part in his life.  "To think that life is short".....has the biggest impact when you risk losing someone you love.
~M

For The Love Of An Animal

I'm Back!!!!  Its been a few months of challenges, transformation and transitions....But once again I have emerged a stronger person then I once was.  Traveling down a path to enlightenment isn't always the easiest.  It isn't always the most rewarding and many of times it is difficult to see where the light shinning will guide you when you are blinded by the pain within your heart.  We try our best to be the spiritual beings that we seek to become.  Without fault we find fault within our seeking and learn a new course altogether.  With love and passion we seek to do phenomenal things with us defining what phenomenal is.  Rather it be holding the door open for a stranger or buying groceries for the less fortunate.  Or perhaps in my particular case phenomenal concludes saving a dog from her end at the shelter and her being my armor of courage.  We wish for fairytale endings and forever interludes.  However, sometimes, some of us end up with "for the time being".  Short periods in which we learn something grand from remarkable beings about ourselves and what are limits are.  Sometimes these beings dispel our fears and allow us to see what really lies within our hearts.  Thanks to my beloved fur babies I have found the courage to love the many faceted sides of me and to truly see how much motherhood lies within my own heart.  As much as I would love to keep some of them by my side always, they too have a journey of their own and a purpose in their hearts.  As I learn to let go, release attachment and move forward without judgement I further grow as an enlightened being one step closer to my own truth.         

Trusting That Which Isn't Seen

Before I started out blazing my own trail into the spiritual west I used to equate everything with logic.  The term "Miracles" happen to other people who categorized them as such but were in actuality, simply put...events where all the pieces lined up.  If  I couldn't see it, touch it, breathe it, then it didn't exist to me.  As I ponder this naive way of coexisting I realize that the truth I was born with was a fable, rather a .....childhood myth one might say.  The truth I was born with was quickly swept beneath the floor boards and the new realism I redeemed became one in which helped me fit in with the peers around me at that time.  I abandoned myself for the ability to blend in and became throughout the years vanilla in expression.  Only until I shook out that which didn't belong to me did I find the exquisite gold hue peanut left behind which was mine.  Today I say with pride that the peanut is now the size of a grapefruit and still expanding.  That fable has become my foundation for truth.  My realism doesn't rely on the surmount of materialism I own to define me.  My qualifications aren't noticed through my degrees, certifications and licensing to determine if I am capable to achieve.  They are measured by my compassionate heart which one can not physically see, my generosity and my capacity of determination.  As I embark on yet another year ahead of me I realize that I now know me.  I am acquainted with this remarkable person who trust that when the little voice mutters go right I need to make a sharp turn right.  Even though I may not see who the voice is coming from I have learned well enough that if I choose to venture left it is going to be a dry and desolate journey.  One that in the end will deliver me back to right, feeling lethargic, broken and perhaps blocked.  Countless times I hear from my clients how they know they should be doing etc but choose to achieve the opposite instead.  Why is it "ourselves" who block our own path to deliverance?  Why do we feel the need to change the game that is already pathed and given to us?  Why do we trust that which produce hardships but shy away from that which makes our existence just a little easier?  As I approach my magical 33 I have come to realize that forging in the turbulent waters is not for me.  I welcome placid shores, tepid water, and all the support that comes my way.  It's not that I am beyond the point of struggles it is however, that I am able to take the moment needed to rise above just for a second and notice the dip in the road.  Seeing the dip is enough to allow me to brace myself for the pain that may be coming upon impact.  By putting on the seat belt I can engage with it and allow it to pass through me.  This way perhaps allowing none of its painful memories to stick within but allowing the lessons to produce further wisdom.  As you journey through life continue to play.  Listen to your own dual voice.  Love yourself for who you are.  The attributes, the beautiful flaws that show up as attributes in given circumstances and embrace the whole.  As we further venture back into the truth of childhood, we learn that we were born with all the answers to all the questions we will ever need to know.  Yes......My friends it is that EASY!!  All one needs to do is let it be.
~Monique   

Through Yoga I Bid Farewell To Fear

 The moment my feet press into the mat I bestow thanks and honor to my body.  I take the time to connect to the divine and become aware of my heightened senses.  Focusing on my breath, my body, my intentions, I become intune with each asana I create.  I raise the vibration within through a rapid Kundalini breath and allow myself to sink even farther into warrior.  Feeling the energy race throughout my entire spine, I allow for concentration, dedication and openness to what lies in the next breath.  At this moment I am a student, a teacher, a novice, a warrior, a healer and pure love.   

Looking back on my life I remember a few years back occupying this world griped in fear.  It was an existence full of what if's, constant wanting and cowardly discord.  It was a life that not only limited me but kept me from being who I wanted to become.  Now, this is not to say that "fear" doesn't try to have its hold on me today.  It is only to imply, that my life path isn't driven by fear any longer.  Through my constant devotion to meditation and yoga throughout those years, I learned to conclude that I had a choice in how I wanted to live.  I could honor my heart and live out a life I truly yearned for.  Or I could listen to my thoughts with their constant demanding uncertainty and limiting beliefs.  A fabrication of truth railed by fear and what might happen next.  A year ago I fully devoted myself to My Beliefs and chose to live a life through my heart.  For the first time in my 30 something years alive I felt the desire for adventure.  I felt the need for uncertainty and the love for what could be around the corner.  I found myself saying yes to life!!!  I surrendered my need for perfection and I allowed the imperfection that entered to teach me a thing or two about myself.  I embraced the world with my arms wide open in the "Victory pose" and I arched my back in acceptance.  It was a true releasing of it's time.  I accredit so much of that release to my yoga practice.  Meeting my Guru last summer was the blessing of a life time.  I had been doing yoga for years but never truly finding the connection I was searching for.  I soon developed a mindset that my search would have to take me to India in order to find this divine understanding I craved.  But before a trip could be coordinated the universe blessed me with the impossible.....India came to me.  The connection was so powerful upon that first meeting that I bowed my head in the lap of my Guru and wept.  Stroking my hair with a loving hand I knew at that precise moment I came home.  My prayers had been answered and my life would never be the same again.  It was finally my time to move forward and move forward I did.  Soaking up as much knowledge as I could, I thirst for the wisdom this individual possessed.  Without selfishness but a deep love, my age old wounds begin to heal and what came with was a deeper understanding.  I came to understand I understood nothing, I knew nothing and I needed nothing.  Learning that melted the misconception for perfection.  I accepted my fate and stepped onto the mat for the first time this year as teacher.  Speaking the words of my Guru as well as some of my own I understand now that we are all teachers.  We are all learning, sharing, giving and receiving. If we constantly remind ourselves of this beauty then there is never a need to fear fore we are surrounded by generosity at all times.  What could ever be more beautiful then that?                

Falling In Love With LIFE

Just because one teaches doesn't always mean one makes the best disciplined student.  It has taken me getting sick these past weeks to slow down and listen to my own teachings.  Week after week I find myself teaching meditation but lacking the discipline to practice it.  Week after week I discover myself assisting my clients through the mud but lacking patience to truly acknowledge my own.  With a calmer spirit and a much more open heart i've slowed down the pace.  I took the time for myself and "Fell In Love" with life once more this past week.  I have discovered even though we have a tumultuous love affair going on between us, these ups and downs are significant to my continuous transformation.  This last bout of wills has instilled me with a much greater sense of achievement.  I've taken the plunge and with coughing fit for an elephant my voice has open up to a much softer sound.  In every moment we possess the opportunity to be, create and achieve who it is we want to be.  Each moment we hold the power to live life closer to what our true self expression is.  This moment I have learned that although I love what I do, I love myself equally as much.  Which translates into me taking the desired amount of time to assist my needs, wants and affirmations.  Since making the choice to live a life closure to my true self my lessons have become easier, more enriched and the sense of peace has been profound.  In order to maintain this sense of inner order I must first maintain the spiritual order within me.  Although I have shun discipline this year I have come to see a new vision materializing before me benefiting from the use of it.  Thank you universe for your constant reminder that we are ever growing, changing, evolving beings.
~Monique

"We can't direct the wind but we can adjust our sails"  -Unknown

Meditative Dance

For years civilization has been celebrating its way through life via dance.  Used as an artful expression of the human soul, dance has represented many things in past and present culture.  In native tribes dance has been proven successful, shown in conjunction with circles.  A place where within one would dance from their heart pleading to the Gods that miracles would be bestowed upon them and their tribe.  Pop culture has used it as a form of expression and a modern day mating call.  This week I chose to use it in my Intro to Meditation class as a means to simulate trance like effects when meditating.  The objective was to allow the student the freedom of expression through dance.  To enable their spirit the room to grow, unflutter its wings and unharness the energy kept within.  The result was breathtaking.  As we gathered in a circle, each student with their eyes closed moved their body to their own interpretation of the music playing.  The room dark, lite by none other then candles, allowed for a space open and non-judgmental.  No two people moved the same but each received the healing and the imagery meant for them during the process.  Each heard the music in reference to their own true self.  Each released cellular memories stored within their body and each learned to release a bit of fear.  This is an extremely useful practice when looking for grounding as well as chakra releasing/cleansing.  Especially from but not limited to the first chakra, also known as the root chakra.  In some dance meditations Kundalini energy is brought in to create forceful dynamic change within the body as well.  If done effectively the results can be copacetic.
~Monique

To dance then, is to pray, to meditate, to enter into communion with the larger dance, which is the universe.
-- Jean Houston

With Parting Leaves....Patience Can Be Achieved

As a small girl I remember fondly being taught the importance of gardening by my Grandfather.  A avid farmer turned gardener in his later years, he taught me the ways to patience.  How to water the plants with a slow trickle of water instead of a gush.  How to speak to the plants in order to know what it was they needed.  How to spend hours under the canopied leafed trees enjoying the fruits of ones labors.  My Grandfather perched on a green metal military container (once belonging to my Great Grandfather) and myself planted on his lap.  Later on in years when I was able to purchase my first home I wasn't as fortunate to have a beautiful garden.  What came with was a vision of soil and rocks.  I planted my heart and seven years later, what popped up is nothing short of a secret garden.  Lush, green and magical.  With Mother Natures help the jasmin is in full bloom growing outside my office window.  The scent of it's dainty white flowers bellow throughout the air reminding the neighbors and myself included that Spring is upon us.  The purple wisteria lay haven to the bees and butterflies giving me inspiration for my meditations.  The cape code living fences do make for good neighbors!! They not only provide privacy for my Spring and Summer meditation groups hosted, but offer nectar to the multiplies of hummingbirds occupying the garden.  The flower bulbs lucky enough to survive the ravaging of the winter raccoons have bloomed into candy scented beauties.  Just enough for me to create thank you bouquets for my friends.  The jacaranda trees have yet to bless me with a bountiful of purple flowers, but they have instilled a pillar of pride within.  Growing from just seeds they now tower 9 feet high, lending shade to the enriched backyard.  Thanks to mother nature, plant swaps, discount bin plants and my two hands I have created a vision my Grandfather would be proud of.  Oh and that green metal military container.....Now holds its own in my garden giving me a seat to teach my students from.  Even though I have yet to have a small child of my own rest upon my lap, I look forward with the sincerest of heart for the day I can duplicate my memories with him/her.
~Monique

Upon Closing My Eyes I Allow Myself To Fully See That Within Me

I have been actively participating in meditation and yoga for years.  Although my teaching it is a fairly recent endeavor, it has taken me to levels I have only dreamed of arriving at.  One in particular has to do with the Ajna (third eye) located in ones forehead between the brows, positioned at the top of the spine in the madulla oblongata.  The third eye is linked with the pineal gland located near the center of the brain, between two hemispheres tucked in between a groove, where the two rounded thalamic bodies join.  Since its location is deep within the brain it symbolizes an intimate importance.  One which is believed to see beyond space and time.  Said to be activated by light, it works with the hypothalamus which dictates the bodies thirst, hunger, sexual desire and biological clock.  The third eye has always been associated with the origin of higher consciousness.  Also known as the sixth chakra (Anja) translates to the meaning "To Command".  It is represented by the color indigo, a dark bluish/purple hue.  In order to activate the third eye one must raise their frequency and move into a higher state of consciousness.  Meditation and yoga allows one to be able to see that which lies beyond the physical body.  The more one practices, the more frequent the information begins to flow.  Allowing one to decipher between random images and dream-time messages, negative self-talk and mindful interpretations.  Kundalini yoga is known to awaken the senses through the formulation of breath by first awakening the serpent who sleeps at the base of the spine (root chakra) and slowly drawing the energy upward.  Allowing this energy to ascend towards the head center after awakening via breath vibrations.  This technique provides light to the pineal gland which in return provides divine thought.  The sixth chakra (third eye) is also referred to as the "Guru Chakra" since its activation is known to connect one with their "Inner Guru".  Thus bringing one into a higher state of meditation and wisdom.  Each chakra is known to resonate with a different sound used to raise the vibration through activation, this is why "Om" (Aum) is chanted for the third eye.  Chanting consecutively three times is said to do the most good. 

"I close my eyes so I may see"......Referring to the third eye it is a phrase that is used as a gentle reminder to shift consciousness/focus to a level where one can experience life without struggle.  A hardship for most within itself.  Through this new state of consciousness one learns a state of being, instead of a state of doing.  Shifting oneself out of the mentality of outside stimuli and instead turning within in order to refocus oneself.  As this art is practiced more and more one learns to create balance within their own lives.  When this is practiced  in Pranayama yoga it enables one to go deep within themselves in order to get a true sense of energy and life.  As one seeks, feels and acknowledges from within.  One is then able to harness that energy and allow it to resonate outward.  May your third eye through practice take you where you wish to go and see what it is you crave to answer.
~Monique

Follow Me Down Wisteria Lane

The weather could not be more spectacular here in Sunny Cali.  However, with all this blessed sunlight the Wisteria in my garden is blooming rather early this season.  With the sacred scent of freshly opened blooms and the array of lavender hue cascading over the gazebo, the butterfly's have begin to make their entrance.  They gallantly dance among the gentle breeze of time as a symbol of transformation.  These extraordinary creatures come as a reminder to take a deeper look within ourselves and find the confidence to emerge that which lies in the center of our soul.  They present themselves not as a chaperon of fear but as a messenger to remember to let life be lived.  "This unwavering acceptance of metamorphosis is also symbolic of faith.  Here the butterfly beckons for us to keep our faith as we undergo transitions in our lives.  She understands that our trailing, fretting, and anger are useless against the turning tides of nature".  As we proceed with our individual journey into the soul, we learn through countless trials to release.  When the shifts of life take us continuously down different paths full of never ending obstacles we learn to morph just like that of the butterfly into ever changing beings and learn through trials to become that closer to what lies in the center of our being.  We learn through our challenges that life, our journey, our existence here upon this earth is our only guarantee.  Our breath this excate moment is all that is still until the change occurs again shifting us down another path of movement forcing us to accept that which comes.  Altering our image of who we are as we emerge like that of the butterfly into something greater.  Where do you find yourself exuding countless energy, when it might be best to allow yourself to just accept fate. 

Quick Butterfly Meditation 
Take a moment to become comfortable.  Allowing yourself to find the most perfect position just for your body.  Taking a few deep and comfortable breaths you begin to find your thoughts floating ever so gently.  As they shift from left to right, front to back.  You soon find yourself traveling along a path.  This is a path well traveled and very familiar to you.  It is a path of wisdom and knowledge, of purpose and truth.  As you find yourself becoming reacquainted with this chosen path I would like for you to take a moment or two as you begin to observe the scenery around you.  Becoming familiar with the ground beneath your feet.  The airy sky imploding above your head.  Allow yourself the freedom to create all the details that make this source a place of comfort for you.  As you allow yourself to glance up ahead you begin to make out the faint details of movement.  Standing perfectly still you soon come in contact with a gorgeous butterfly.  Watching the eloquence of its majestic wings you stand captivated by its flight pattern.  Allowing your vision to follow the erratic yet opulent movement of this sophisticated creature.   It soon begins to twirl signaling for you to come follow.  As you do, it leads you into a wide and open field.  Standing there amongst the vastness of space you observe your new surroundings.  Taking in the openness that engulfs you.  As you scan your environment your eyes come to settle on an enormous bolder in the center of the field.  Upon further inspection you begin to notice how a dish in it provides for the perfect seat for your posterior and you begin to take a seat.  Settling into the deep curve provided for your comfort and relaxation you begin to melt into relaxation even further. 
Part two of this Meditation to follow soon :)
~Monique

"To forgive or not to forgive"

Every day we are faced with a multitude of decision making.  Should we settle for the non-fat latte or just go for the gold with the Caramel Macchiato.  When we allow ourselves the freedom to do so, we discover along the way that we have choices in these decisions.  But, what happens when we are faced with the decision of forgiveness?  Should we give thought to it or just dive right in?  Is it reasonable to forgive for the sake of just forgiving?  I recently came faced with a figure from my past.  A friend who was the very driving force that derived me to where I am now.  A friend who's lack of acceptance of spiritualism caused me to crave the path even more so.  Nothing like being faced with that speed bump doing 80 down the road of spiritual life a year later.  As much as I would love to think I have evolved from trivial things like, memories of the past.  I found myself at that precise moment full force spiraling down memory lane .  The hurt swelling within my heart like an emotional tornado.  My mind clouded over by the turbulence of conflicting thoughts.  However, instead of logic being the driving force in my life this time, something else took the drivers seat.....My heart.  Powerful, strong and demanding to be heard.  It spoke clearly.  To forgive someone else is to forgive yourself first.  It is a true gift to give when there isn't a reason to.  It is true forgiveness to offer when it isn't expected of you.  It is true love to bestow love when there isn't any return upon it.  As I sat with this I realized that "to forgive or not to forgive" is translated, TO GIVE WITHOUT COMPROMISING ONESELF.  To release from the debauchery, the shackles, the rouse that has weighed you down and to finally set that spirit free.  I walk lighter these days knowing that even though my friend isn't walking along beside me, my forgiveness has given me a brighter vision.
~Monique

Befriended by the Medicine Circle

As most of you know, I readily spend a large quantity of my time servicing to others.  Even though it warms the very essence of my soul to give, I always know when the inner well is ready to receive the rains of  replenishment.  Today I followed the path into the circle, a good friend of mine started about a month ago via The Healing Shoppe.  Based on Native American Tradition I received the healing I so came to seek.  Scented amongst the clouds of freshly lite sage I breathed in the tantalizing aroma and released my inner woes.  These beautiful circles boast the idea of community, relations and shared healing.  Inspired and enriched with traditions from ancient ancestors they are a melting pot for people of all social types to come gather.  Their principles are based on simplicity, purity and connecting with the earth through all things basic.  In a society so caught up with the latest gadget it brings purity of heart to attend a circle where one truly can "just be".
~Monique