Last year I found myself spending a good amount of the year sick. Was it karma that finally bite me in the arse you ask? Lessons that needed to be learned? Just a day in the life and times of life? Honestly I haven't a clue! I could sit and pontificate the meaning for another year, but what would be the fun in that? What I did discover however, amongst many things...was this. FREEDOM!
That's right. FREEDOM.
I learned personal freedom to just be as I was in the present moment. It's absolutely mesmerizing how all the meditation, yoga and spiritual seeking could not bring me into focus the way pain could. Nor get me to fess up the complete truth about myself. Now when I speak of truth, I know...I know your all thinking here we go. The introspection speech. Not even close my friends. The truth I speak of is the truth of who we are presently. Not what we share on FB or to our acquaintances. Not the pics we post that are only 2 out of the 150 we take and then proclaim to be naturally photogenic. Nope, i'm speaking of the truth that is us today. The stripped down, naked truth that we shudder about. I bet reading that just now you were able to think of 5 truths about yourself without even thinking. I know I just did! If you did think there could be possibly hundreds hidden in your inner depths. The difference is now that I have found real personal freedom, I no longer need to be a hoarder of truths. Believe me when I say, I used to be able to hoard with the best of them.
So how did I found this nugget of truth and create a disappearing act involving some of my luggage? Well, part was choice and the rest was simply having to go with the flow. Getting sick wasn't necessarily a choice but it was a choice I was a part of. For years I took less then optimally care of myself. I avoided going to the doctor regularly. Took it upon myself to heal naturally. Mind you without success. I spoke to myself consistently about how I hated the doctors, hated needles, hated to be touched by strangers, hated germs and etc. Hated the possibility to have to strip down naked in front of strangers in order to have whatever possibly checked. When I say I spoke to myself this way.....I mean I truly spoke to myself this way. The hatred being not only the word used but also the feeling behind the verbiage. So, what happened? All of it that I hated!! I was touched by so many strange hands I would have thought I was up for sale in a consignment shop. Needles and giving blood became a comedy skit between myself and the nurses. Who would have thought I could be sooooo funny? Certainly not me! Drugs (legal of course) I welcomed. The cellulite on my thighs/butt became public knowledge to more then just my intimate and right now it has become even more so. Yes that's right! I have cellulite that neither running nor cellulite cream seems to erase. May my inner light shine bright! During those doctor visits I learned to strip down faster then those you see in a porno and the best part....I learned not to blush while doing it. Or judge my chipped nail polished toes resting on that germ ridden, cold, grey floor tile becauseeeeee the best part was; I wasn't looking down. Yep....I am horrible at getting regular pedicures and you know what? May my inner light shine bright.
This year my BFF got me involved in a job that paid wonderfully well. I had the opportunity to attend the tech convention in Las Vegas. For the technology loving, super nerdy, staying update with the ins and out individual this was a dream come true! For me not so much. I am not tech savy by any means. I barely know how to turn on my computer and that's only because there is a word that says "Start"...Ha ha made you laugh. Ok...Ok...I'm not that tech ignorant but I am damn close. But guess what? May my inner light shine bright. I went, I did, I stressed, I made mistakes (smiling works), I succeeded, I stepped out of my comfort zone and paid off a huge medical bill. My light still shined bright throughout even if it vibrated from the anxiety I had.
The point is. We all have fears, hidden neurosis, things we are embarrassed about, ashamed of, confused on and just plain timid revealing. However, do any of those things mean anything? More importantly do they mean anything to you? Many times the things we find fault, fear or shame in are not our perceptions. They are others perceptions. We take on what other peoples judgements are and find truth in them. Equating many times for us to find fault within ourselves. Its easy to say to never allow someone else to dim your light. But more times then not it is us who dim our own light as a means and way to fit in. There is truth found within many inspirational quotes about being weird, being off, being abnormal and finding love in it. It's because if we (the masses) allow our lights to shine bright. Our fear of "what if" begin to fall away. If we banned together in our weirdness then we could all brightly shine and light up the night sky on those really dark periods in our lives.
May you find many grammatical errors in this blog and may my inner light continue to shine bright ,)
~M
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
Thursday, September 12, 2013
The Cracked Pot
Recently I was going through some emails and came upon this one in particular. A firm believer that there "are no accidents" I was bemused that this discovery should appear at this perfect time in my life. Having gone through a fair amount of health related issues this year as well as battle through a few personal trials to boot. I have had quite the amount of time to ponder some of the nuances of life. Something to the effect of what role do I play in society, what are my flaws, how do I learn to love these named flaws and see them as an assets, etc, etc. Enjoy the email below. Im sure many of you will get something out of it. Most of all be kind, be gentle and have love for your flawed self.
~M
~M
The Cracked Pot
An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole, which she carried across her neck.
One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water.
At the end of the long walks from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.
For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water.
Of course , the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments.
But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do.
After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream
'I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house.'
The old woman smiled and said; "Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side?"
That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them.'
'For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table.
Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house.'
Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding.
You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them.
SO, to all of my crackpot friends, have a great day and remember to smell the flowers on your side of the path!
One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water.
At the end of the long walks from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.
For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water.
Of course , the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments.
But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do.
After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream
'I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house.'
The old woman smiled and said; "Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side?"
That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them.'
'For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table.
Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house.'
Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding.
You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them.
SO, to all of my crackpot friends, have a great day and remember to smell the flowers on your side of the path!
Some people change their ways when they see the light, others when they feel the heat. ~Caroline Schoeder
Thursday, June 6, 2013
Judgements and Perceptions create Chasms
Recently my last post raised quite the controversy as to how I was currently living my life. Accused of opting out because I spoke of the release of tired goods and succumbing to high fashion, things that were considered nonspiritual in nature by particular individuals. I relish in what people have to bring to the table, their individualistic perception of "what is" in said matters. This particular diatribe however, had me thinking about a life event currently occurring in another category of my life. That which was forming right next store at my neighbors house. For some who know me well know that I live in a historic district. A beautiful little well kept neighborhood of beings ranging in the average age of 50+. Retired, vacation homes in Europe and pleasantly quaint to converse with. But with that perfect setup comes also the unexpected. As they say, "there is always that house" and yes I happen to live next to it. You know the one. The black sheep of the neighborhood with the dying grass and the peeling paint. Not being much for conflict or confrontation I have always been more then cordial. As the other neighbors called the city to have this house cited for trash cans left out pass their time allowance, overgrown vegetation and parked cars left on the street; I carried on minding my matters.
Recently they inherited some family members of theirs experiencing hard times. These financial hard times has made for the family members to take to living out of their car. As these neighbors slept tucked in peaceful slumber in their warm house their offspring slept cramped in the confines of their car. Finally pushed beyond my own set limits I became irate. Mostly because I was embarrassed to have this unsightly display demonstrated before me. Losing all compassion of what these individuals must be experiencing I ranted and raved over what I had to experience. But what did I have to experience? Truly nothing. It was I who was having the problem with this demonstration of truth before me. It was I who's eyes looked at this situation as something that was being done to me. It was I who felt that I had been wronged in some way as I watched these individuals wake up each morning pulling articles out of their suitcase in order to prepare for the day. It was also I who could not understand what it would feel like to experience such set circumstances. Or to have family who wouldn't take me in if I was in a bind. No I couldn't understand because I have never been without. Nor in such a dire situation where I didn't have emotional, financial or physical help standing behind me. I fortunately have been blessed beyond belief. Even when hard times were trying, I always had the support of family, community and friends.
This recent week I finally made the conscious decision to call the police after giving this couple 2 weeks to improve their circumstances. As I planned for this past Wednesday to be the deadline, I woke up to see that not only was this couple living in the confines of their car but so were their two small children. Children who ran around the yard with glorious smiles on their faces everyday. Children who were clean, fed and hair perfectly maintained. I paused as I watched them in their pj's dragging their baby blankets up to the neighbors house this particular morning. In that exact moment I broke down and cried. I cried for them. I cried for the selfishness that I was feeling within my heart. I cried that it took me wanting to help others to go outside of my own neighborhood in order to build a foundation only to have those in need living beside me. I cried that here I was worried about what people thought of me, when these individuals were just focusing on surviving. I cried more then anything that I never looked to see before this particular day that there were children living in the car.
So rather it be right, wrong or indifferent I decided not to call. Not to have this families circumstance become hindered more then it already was by my complicated hands. I chose that although the site is unfavorable to watch, I would rather see them all together then pulled apart. I have changed my perception and now instead of waking up each morning annoyed, I bask in the glow of the youth who greet me by my car before I leave for my morning run. I may not have children but to experience the wonders through child eyes is a remarkable blessing. Their innocence and youth of spirit is overwhelming. Their gentleness and sharing nature is pure perfection. It is us who become jaded by the social norms of what is, should be's and worldly pressures. It is us who make the simple complicated and the gentle rigid.
Spiritualism isn't about being perfect in every set situation and circumstance. Its about seeing and embracing when you are perfectly flawed. Its about seeing the balance of the light as well as the dark and making allowances for it. It is about understanding yourself better for who you are, where you are and where you want to be. It is about allowing and accepting. Most importantly allowing and accepting those judgements you caste against yourself.
~M
Recently they inherited some family members of theirs experiencing hard times. These financial hard times has made for the family members to take to living out of their car. As these neighbors slept tucked in peaceful slumber in their warm house their offspring slept cramped in the confines of their car. Finally pushed beyond my own set limits I became irate. Mostly because I was embarrassed to have this unsightly display demonstrated before me. Losing all compassion of what these individuals must be experiencing I ranted and raved over what I had to experience. But what did I have to experience? Truly nothing. It was I who was having the problem with this demonstration of truth before me. It was I who's eyes looked at this situation as something that was being done to me. It was I who felt that I had been wronged in some way as I watched these individuals wake up each morning pulling articles out of their suitcase in order to prepare for the day. It was also I who could not understand what it would feel like to experience such set circumstances. Or to have family who wouldn't take me in if I was in a bind. No I couldn't understand because I have never been without. Nor in such a dire situation where I didn't have emotional, financial or physical help standing behind me. I fortunately have been blessed beyond belief. Even when hard times were trying, I always had the support of family, community and friends.
This recent week I finally made the conscious decision to call the police after giving this couple 2 weeks to improve their circumstances. As I planned for this past Wednesday to be the deadline, I woke up to see that not only was this couple living in the confines of their car but so were their two small children. Children who ran around the yard with glorious smiles on their faces everyday. Children who were clean, fed and hair perfectly maintained. I paused as I watched them in their pj's dragging their baby blankets up to the neighbors house this particular morning. In that exact moment I broke down and cried. I cried for them. I cried for the selfishness that I was feeling within my heart. I cried that it took me wanting to help others to go outside of my own neighborhood in order to build a foundation only to have those in need living beside me. I cried that here I was worried about what people thought of me, when these individuals were just focusing on surviving. I cried more then anything that I never looked to see before this particular day that there were children living in the car.
So rather it be right, wrong or indifferent I decided not to call. Not to have this families circumstance become hindered more then it already was by my complicated hands. I chose that although the site is unfavorable to watch, I would rather see them all together then pulled apart. I have changed my perception and now instead of waking up each morning annoyed, I bask in the glow of the youth who greet me by my car before I leave for my morning run. I may not have children but to experience the wonders through child eyes is a remarkable blessing. Their innocence and youth of spirit is overwhelming. Their gentleness and sharing nature is pure perfection. It is us who become jaded by the social norms of what is, should be's and worldly pressures. It is us who make the simple complicated and the gentle rigid.
Spiritualism isn't about being perfect in every set situation and circumstance. Its about seeing and embracing when you are perfectly flawed. Its about seeing the balance of the light as well as the dark and making allowances for it. It is about understanding yourself better for who you are, where you are and where you want to be. It is about allowing and accepting. Most importantly allowing and accepting those judgements you caste against yourself.
~M
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Everything I Now Know, I Have Learned While Hoodwilling
Last year my best friend introduced me to a life I never knew existed previously. A life full of surplus, excitement and profound knowledge. Now where on earth has all this wealth of information come from, you might ask? No where other then the Goodwill. Or according to my IPhone's crafty auto-correct....The Hoodwill. Pretentious I am not, expressive I most certainly am. Upon donating a large extent of my wardrobe in order to "start fresh" I was left in a space to recreate what I wanted in my life. Having a love for my own style and flair which has taken me years to cultivate I was far from embracing the latest trends in the mainstream popular stores. Thanks to R.B not only did I get to spend girl time with my friend but I also got turned onto a world vastly different then that which I was living. So you may be asking, how does this apply to Spiritualism? Each book ever written on Spiritualism is written with life principles in mind. To simply read said principles does nothing. Its the course of applying them where the magic occurs.
Principle One...Surplus.
I have come to realize that the world is made up of an endless supply of surplus. There is never a need that can not be filled or a willing participnat not looking to fill a need. With this in mind there is NEVER a reason to think that one will not get what one needs. Many times I hear clients comment on how they will die if their job ends, if there relationship fails, if the home they want doesn't come through, if the coveted material tangible is not within their possession. I can assure time and time again that....death will not occur due to some exterior belief. However, believing that happiness is based entirely on one said person, event or item is a very limited way of thinking. Hasn't enough words of wisdom been produced for society to know that as one door closes another one opens.
Well the same thing applies to shopping. Just because the person before you bought the most stellar pair of Louis Vuitton heels in your precise size is not to say that a more spectacular pair will not be found later on. Ones meant just for you and your deformed middle toe. There is always a better relationship to replace the one which you had. A home with a layout better fitted to your current lifestyle. A vehicle at a cheaper price, with more options than the one that recently "Got Away". Remember it all comes down to belief. To believe there is always more will bring more. To believe there is lack will produce just that. It's the Law of Effect. So be conscious the next time you find yourself choosing to be disappointed.
Principle Two...The writing is ALWAYS on the wall.
Take things for face value first. If it has a smudge, stain, tear, etc acknowledge it and then decide.
Is it worth dealing with even though the image is not perfect? How much work will it take to get it just so? I found a gorgeous dress that was in a chiffon silk with overlayed black lace. Very classic late 30's elegance. It was also sizes too large for me. Although I loved it and envisioned myself prancing around in it, I needed to be honest first. The alterations would cost a fortune and what I loved about the dress may not be the same things that I would love after it was altered. I choose to let it go and surprisingly enough I found one similar months later in the correct size.
These same principles apply to life when associating with others. People will ALWAYS show you who they are if you care to listen. Its not people persay who lie but rather our own individual egos that do. Pay attention! To what is said, not said and gestured your way. You can save yourself time, money and emotions when evaluating the circumstances in an open, honesty way. In the end if a conscious choice is made to take on a project by all means remember to put your best foot forward.
Principle Three....HONESTY
Being honesty starts with YOU. One needs to know themselves before they can begin to know another.
This applies to shopping as well. Each individual person has their own individual style. A way of expressing their inner being. What will look truly stunning on one person does not always look the same on another. Know this and be true to it. The more you do so the more that truth spills out into all areas of your life, not just clothes. I know that I am a person for vintage, elegance, feminine and material. If it sparkles, gleams, sways and evokes some sort of passion within me I swoon. I also have to LOVE it in order to buy it. I have also learned that borrowing upon someone elses style tends to wind up with me donating it back.
Be true to you and you will always be true. Look to the world to lend inspiration to you but be realistic in your wants, dreams, hopes, desires and how you curate them into your space. Living a life of integrity is your own sole choice and only you know what a life like that looks like. Get clear, precise and be mindful when executing all which does not define you or your lifestyle. In the beginning it might take a little elbow grease on your part but soon you will be coasting with a fresher more authentic vision for yourself. Happy Sailing!!
Principle Four...Traits YOU define to live by
What is it that you are seeking? What traits do you choose to live by? To apply to your life?
When I started out shopping I knew that I was looking for pieces that were timeless, feminine, tailored and organic. Organic to me is silk. I love the way it fits, contours and lays against my skin. Nothing else suffice for me. I know what I want and I believe that I am worthy of my wants. Even if they take years to transpire. R.B however has been very clear that she wants comfortable. Above all else if a garment isn't comfortable to wear or needs an assembly to put on then its gone. We have paired up to hold each other to these defined truths when we find ourselves straying.
These traits have also come to play in other areas as well. My feelings are what I borrow from many a times to navigate with clients, friendships and over all decisions regarding life. Rather it be intuition that does the leading or enough experiences lived to see the red flags i'm unsure. I am sure that if it doesn't feel right then 95% of the time it is not. That gut feeling has saved myself time and time again from countless detriments and I listen to it when a garment fits too tightly around it as well. I personally am unwilling to suffer for fashion or for anything that places my "gut" at a dis-ease.
Principle Five...When in DOUBT sit back and RELAX
When I first started shopping the Hoodwill I found things that I was unsure of but would buy anyways. Only to get them home, decide that I really did not like them and end up donating them back. After more then a few times of doing this I started listening to my inner voice. If I found myself pausing on a said item then I would simply walk away from it. I made a new agreement with myself that I HAD to LOVE it in order for it to find a home with me. Otherwise it was just simply stuff. Filler in my life which later translated into clutter.
We are all aware of clutter. Clutter of possessions, leads to clutter of the mind, which later can transmute into clutter of emotions. I have received the clean out clutter card from my counseling deck enough times to know that it is frivolous to hold on to stuff just for the sake of. Now take old ways of thinking and you are left with a outdated, outlived, outlook on life. Just like closets...Each of us need a Life Review every now and then. A quick or in depth glance over to see if all that is kept inside is truly ours. Now and then you may find a shirt given as a gift by a friend that you have never worn, or a belief that was never yours to begin with. Toss it, release from it, work through it and then move on. There are things out there that will fit your life better I guarantee it.
~M
Principle One...Surplus.
I have come to realize that the world is made up of an endless supply of surplus. There is never a need that can not be filled or a willing participnat not looking to fill a need. With this in mind there is NEVER a reason to think that one will not get what one needs. Many times I hear clients comment on how they will die if their job ends, if there relationship fails, if the home they want doesn't come through, if the coveted material tangible is not within their possession. I can assure time and time again that....death will not occur due to some exterior belief. However, believing that happiness is based entirely on one said person, event or item is a very limited way of thinking. Hasn't enough words of wisdom been produced for society to know that as one door closes another one opens.
Well the same thing applies to shopping. Just because the person before you bought the most stellar pair of Louis Vuitton heels in your precise size is not to say that a more spectacular pair will not be found later on. Ones meant just for you and your deformed middle toe. There is always a better relationship to replace the one which you had. A home with a layout better fitted to your current lifestyle. A vehicle at a cheaper price, with more options than the one that recently "Got Away". Remember it all comes down to belief. To believe there is always more will bring more. To believe there is lack will produce just that. It's the Law of Effect. So be conscious the next time you find yourself choosing to be disappointed.
Principle Two...The writing is ALWAYS on the wall.
Take things for face value first. If it has a smudge, stain, tear, etc acknowledge it and then decide.
Is it worth dealing with even though the image is not perfect? How much work will it take to get it just so? I found a gorgeous dress that was in a chiffon silk with overlayed black lace. Very classic late 30's elegance. It was also sizes too large for me. Although I loved it and envisioned myself prancing around in it, I needed to be honest first. The alterations would cost a fortune and what I loved about the dress may not be the same things that I would love after it was altered. I choose to let it go and surprisingly enough I found one similar months later in the correct size.
These same principles apply to life when associating with others. People will ALWAYS show you who they are if you care to listen. Its not people persay who lie but rather our own individual egos that do. Pay attention! To what is said, not said and gestured your way. You can save yourself time, money and emotions when evaluating the circumstances in an open, honesty way. In the end if a conscious choice is made to take on a project by all means remember to put your best foot forward.
Principle Three....HONESTY
Being honesty starts with YOU. One needs to know themselves before they can begin to know another.
This applies to shopping as well. Each individual person has their own individual style. A way of expressing their inner being. What will look truly stunning on one person does not always look the same on another. Know this and be true to it. The more you do so the more that truth spills out into all areas of your life, not just clothes. I know that I am a person for vintage, elegance, feminine and material. If it sparkles, gleams, sways and evokes some sort of passion within me I swoon. I also have to LOVE it in order to buy it. I have also learned that borrowing upon someone elses style tends to wind up with me donating it back.
Be true to you and you will always be true. Look to the world to lend inspiration to you but be realistic in your wants, dreams, hopes, desires and how you curate them into your space. Living a life of integrity is your own sole choice and only you know what a life like that looks like. Get clear, precise and be mindful when executing all which does not define you or your lifestyle. In the beginning it might take a little elbow grease on your part but soon you will be coasting with a fresher more authentic vision for yourself. Happy Sailing!!
Principle Four...Traits YOU define to live by
What is it that you are seeking? What traits do you choose to live by? To apply to your life?
When I started out shopping I knew that I was looking for pieces that were timeless, feminine, tailored and organic. Organic to me is silk. I love the way it fits, contours and lays against my skin. Nothing else suffice for me. I know what I want and I believe that I am worthy of my wants. Even if they take years to transpire. R.B however has been very clear that she wants comfortable. Above all else if a garment isn't comfortable to wear or needs an assembly to put on then its gone. We have paired up to hold each other to these defined truths when we find ourselves straying.
These traits have also come to play in other areas as well. My feelings are what I borrow from many a times to navigate with clients, friendships and over all decisions regarding life. Rather it be intuition that does the leading or enough experiences lived to see the red flags i'm unsure. I am sure that if it doesn't feel right then 95% of the time it is not. That gut feeling has saved myself time and time again from countless detriments and I listen to it when a garment fits too tightly around it as well. I personally am unwilling to suffer for fashion or for anything that places my "gut" at a dis-ease.
Principle Five...When in DOUBT sit back and RELAX
When I first started shopping the Hoodwill I found things that I was unsure of but would buy anyways. Only to get them home, decide that I really did not like them and end up donating them back. After more then a few times of doing this I started listening to my inner voice. If I found myself pausing on a said item then I would simply walk away from it. I made a new agreement with myself that I HAD to LOVE it in order for it to find a home with me. Otherwise it was just simply stuff. Filler in my life which later translated into clutter.
We are all aware of clutter. Clutter of possessions, leads to clutter of the mind, which later can transmute into clutter of emotions. I have received the clean out clutter card from my counseling deck enough times to know that it is frivolous to hold on to stuff just for the sake of. Now take old ways of thinking and you are left with a outdated, outlived, outlook on life. Just like closets...Each of us need a Life Review every now and then. A quick or in depth glance over to see if all that is kept inside is truly ours. Now and then you may find a shirt given as a gift by a friend that you have never worn, or a belief that was never yours to begin with. Toss it, release from it, work through it and then move on. There are things out there that will fit your life better I guarantee it.
~M
Sunday, June 2, 2013
Indulging Ones Inner Self
In this modern expulse called life, many of us find ourselves limited on time and energy in order to create the desired tasks that swell within ones head. Visions of childhood fantasies and laughter can bring much joy to ones soul. Those few precarious minutes of time alone from the wars of life is all many of us ask for. A peaceful moment to allow our minds to drift to far away places where our imagination knows no bonds. Of course many of us are adults altering our lifestyle to that which we feel is appropriate for our given circumstantial age and removing the lustrous sheen off of the fairytale dreams. Remembering back to a childhood full of innocence and adventure, we sigh with hope that one day we will get the imagination as well as the courage to fulfill those fantasies again. Rather it be to create a work of art that will make people swoon with inspiration or to travel to distant lands and surrender to the romance of castles and gold threading.
Thursday, May 23, 2013
How to Break Up and Break Out of a Friendship
For most of us the art of communicating can be a rather intricate dance. That which if forced in any one direction can throw off the delicate balance causing one or both partners to be thrown into a misstep. This year I have geared myself towards helping co-lead others into a more honest and authentic existence with themselves. This co-leading has also been a way to introduce them (as well as myself) to speak openly, honestly and freely from the center within. A beautiful notion, but what happens when communication goes awry? When one persons truth becomes quite different then another's. When perspectives change and both parties are engaged in what they believe is their own set truth? Their honesty. Their given perspective. What then?
Recently I found myself in a situation in which any other time would have lead me to speak a different truth. A truth sounding something like this..."Oh, that's ok. Don't worry about it." Something I have found myself stating far too often in the past. To myself mainly but also to others when I felt conflict was going to win, be more intrusive then the actual ordeal itself, or take too much time to thoroughly explain on my part. This same dialogue would repeat itself in my head for hours, days, even sometimes weeks depending on the scenario. This constant banter within causing myself to become a prisoner of my own self imposed conundrum. I would berate myself later for abandoning myself when I needed myself to be present.
Through quiet observation and some wonderful new tools in my tool box I have learned to better honor the voice within. For better or for worse. Which has resulted in me making some major life changes regarding whom I wish to engage intimately in my life. Friendships are wonderful interactions when they mutual benefit both parties. Far from it when they exhibit manipulation, control and various other attributes beneficial for ones own personal gain. Now lets be honest. As human beings we are agenda based. Even if that agenda is simply to give and receive love from one another.
The gift we posses more then any other is our ability to love and be loving. Even when interactions with others have far surpassed their allotted time in our lives, we have the option to let go with love. To be loving in our words and remain loving within our hearts as time floats by. Is this to say we must withhold our own personal truth in order to be loving? Absolutely not! I do however believe that many times the truth can be said in a way that allows both parties to take from it what they may. Remembering that even the most loving words uttered can be perceived as daggers to a person with a closed heart. When in doubt take the time to observe, reflect and then precede forward when the time calls for it. Some of the wisest people are the quietest. When they speak, their words often have the tendency to be some of the loudest.
As each of us continue to grow and persevere within our own lives we hope to cultivate friendships that will grow along with us. For those who don't, we wish them well as they exit the doors held open for them. Knowing fully they have served us well for the time being. Rather your friendship is 6 months or twenty years goodbyes can often be extremely bittersweet. All part of the symbolism of that wonderful, majestic dance.
~M
Recently I found myself in a situation in which any other time would have lead me to speak a different truth. A truth sounding something like this..."Oh, that's ok. Don't worry about it." Something I have found myself stating far too often in the past. To myself mainly but also to others when I felt conflict was going to win, be more intrusive then the actual ordeal itself, or take too much time to thoroughly explain on my part. This same dialogue would repeat itself in my head for hours, days, even sometimes weeks depending on the scenario. This constant banter within causing myself to become a prisoner of my own self imposed conundrum. I would berate myself later for abandoning myself when I needed myself to be present.
Through quiet observation and some wonderful new tools in my tool box I have learned to better honor the voice within. For better or for worse. Which has resulted in me making some major life changes regarding whom I wish to engage intimately in my life. Friendships are wonderful interactions when they mutual benefit both parties. Far from it when they exhibit manipulation, control and various other attributes beneficial for ones own personal gain. Now lets be honest. As human beings we are agenda based. Even if that agenda is simply to give and receive love from one another.
The gift we posses more then any other is our ability to love and be loving. Even when interactions with others have far surpassed their allotted time in our lives, we have the option to let go with love. To be loving in our words and remain loving within our hearts as time floats by. Is this to say we must withhold our own personal truth in order to be loving? Absolutely not! I do however believe that many times the truth can be said in a way that allows both parties to take from it what they may. Remembering that even the most loving words uttered can be perceived as daggers to a person with a closed heart. When in doubt take the time to observe, reflect and then precede forward when the time calls for it. Some of the wisest people are the quietest. When they speak, their words often have the tendency to be some of the loudest.
As each of us continue to grow and persevere within our own lives we hope to cultivate friendships that will grow along with us. For those who don't, we wish them well as they exit the doors held open for them. Knowing fully they have served us well for the time being. Rather your friendship is 6 months or twenty years goodbyes can often be extremely bittersweet. All part of the symbolism of that wonderful, majestic dance.
~M
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Becoming That Girl
When I was younger I used to dream living a life full of adventure and discovery. Being an avid reader helped me create quite the imagination. One where I would travel to far off lands in search of treasures and experiences. I would envision myself much braver then the timid youth sprawled out amongst the grass daydreaming away. In these dreams I was independent, fearless and conquering. As with most of us life happens, adulthood takes hold and the need to be practical takes ownership of our lives. But for the fortunate some and the haphazard few who fight the trend they create for themselves a repertoire that one could only wish for. As the years quickly passed by I found my contentment in others. Hearing their stories of a life lived that I could only wish for but knew full well I would never allow myself to lead. I would fall into their rhymatic trance as they described in full detail far away places and soul quenching yearnings put to rest after pursuing such trips. I would always leave thinking to myself, One Day! One day that will be me who will take the leap of faith.
What I came to realize over the course of these last few months is this. One day doesn't ever come around unless one creates a reason for it to do so. Unless one chooses to walk on a different side of the street or consciously avoid the hole which leads to the same limited thinking. "Becoming That Girl" doesn't occur over night nor with the same goal minded mentality used previously. Upon finishing up Anna David's book Falling for Me, I quickly was inspired to also make some improvements and take some risks. I started by doing the impractical and donated my entire closet to charity. Poof! All of it other then a couple favorite items. I came to realize that I was convincing myself that my style was truly my style just because I could afford it to be. Not because I wanted it to be. So out went the old and in came the new. A more paired down, honest and strict system. One that I borrowed from my time spent in NYC last year after seeing how city dwellers lived within such small confines. I can certainly assure you that each time I open my closet doors now I am in LOVE.
Dream big, dream bold and dream for you. I started a foundation last year. A dream that I held within my heart since my long ago college days. A dream I said repetitively I would get to when the timing was right. What I have learned from spending time with mothers is this....The timing is never right! Not for having a baby, buying that ridiculously expensive leather handbag in trendy orange, or for starting a foundation. There will always be a reason to find an excuse, a need to proclaim the expense will be too costly and for someone to convince you otherwise. Give yourself permission to shrink your DREAMS if you need to. Sometimes thinking small is not always lethal. Despite what consumers may say.
Most importantly take risks. Whatever it is that you define as a risks. For some this may be having dessert for breakfast. Others perhaps a little more life threatening like white water rafting. Whatever the choice may be, honor your soul in the process. Get real on what your risks are for you and YOU alone. Years ago my childhood friend and I made a pack that when we turned 35 we would go skydiving. Well, as it appears that time is currently upon us and as I await her return from Europe I look forward to crossing that endeavor off of my list. Am I apprehensive? Absolutely. However, the feeling of never experiencing such a thing leaves me even more apprehensive. In my opinion 35 years old is a much better time to experience it then at lets say 80. To all the 80 year old's who have...You are my heroes.
STOP doubting yourself before you get a chance to try it. In high school I severely injured my knees from running and competition. To the point that I was informed my likelihood of having knee replacement surgery was extremely high. I gave up running for years and only until last year did I feel inspired to do something about a goal I once had for myself. I always imagined myself running a half marathon. I watched and cheered many of my friends on from the sidelines. Living passionately through them and their successes. Last year I put my best foot forward and completed the Vegas Half for myself, instead of for time. I eliminated the inner dialogue that my knees couldn't sustain the endurance and found that what my knees couldn't stand, was my lack of faith in myself. I finished, recovered and felt so inspired that I have begin to train for the LA Marathon for next year. The best advice I have ever been given is this, "Don't stop yourself before you have had a chance to grow."
One time in your life consider doing what you fear most and then Do It! I have always wanted to spend time in a distant place and experience life through other peoples eyes. Mainly for charitable pursuits and to be of service to others who are greatly in need. Over the years I have considered the peacecore, visiting and staying in ashrams, etc. However, none of those choices have ever come to fruition nor have I pursued them aggressively enough. Recently through a quiet moment I meditated on where I was to be lead to next. Something I do rather often as I look towards universal guidance to spark the flame for my next endeavor. The next day a yoga student of mine informed me of a program where I could teach yoga in Hawaii for a month in exchange for food and board. Now to be quite honest any other time the thought of being away from home for an entire month would terrify me. Not to mention provoke feelings of homesickness before I have set out to buy my ticket and board a plan. This time however, the feeling is very different. One of excitement and intrigue. I have yet to receive all the details but to even consider such an outlandish idea has me feeling alive again.
What I have come to discover is that while I was in search of "Becoming That Girl" I became her. There is still much I wish to experience and many more adventures I hope to add to my own repertoire but in the process I have become someone I can be proud of. Rather I ever make it to a foreign land or not is besides the point. Its all the knowledge, wisdom and events I have stumbled upon throughout the process that is the most rewarding.
~M
What I came to realize over the course of these last few months is this. One day doesn't ever come around unless one creates a reason for it to do so. Unless one chooses to walk on a different side of the street or consciously avoid the hole which leads to the same limited thinking. "Becoming That Girl" doesn't occur over night nor with the same goal minded mentality used previously. Upon finishing up Anna David's book Falling for Me, I quickly was inspired to also make some improvements and take some risks. I started by doing the impractical and donated my entire closet to charity. Poof! All of it other then a couple favorite items. I came to realize that I was convincing myself that my style was truly my style just because I could afford it to be. Not because I wanted it to be. So out went the old and in came the new. A more paired down, honest and strict system. One that I borrowed from my time spent in NYC last year after seeing how city dwellers lived within such small confines. I can certainly assure you that each time I open my closet doors now I am in LOVE.
Dream big, dream bold and dream for you. I started a foundation last year. A dream that I held within my heart since my long ago college days. A dream I said repetitively I would get to when the timing was right. What I have learned from spending time with mothers is this....The timing is never right! Not for having a baby, buying that ridiculously expensive leather handbag in trendy orange, or for starting a foundation. There will always be a reason to find an excuse, a need to proclaim the expense will be too costly and for someone to convince you otherwise. Give yourself permission to shrink your DREAMS if you need to. Sometimes thinking small is not always lethal. Despite what consumers may say.
Most importantly take risks. Whatever it is that you define as a risks. For some this may be having dessert for breakfast. Others perhaps a little more life threatening like white water rafting. Whatever the choice may be, honor your soul in the process. Get real on what your risks are for you and YOU alone. Years ago my childhood friend and I made a pack that when we turned 35 we would go skydiving. Well, as it appears that time is currently upon us and as I await her return from Europe I look forward to crossing that endeavor off of my list. Am I apprehensive? Absolutely. However, the feeling of never experiencing such a thing leaves me even more apprehensive. In my opinion 35 years old is a much better time to experience it then at lets say 80. To all the 80 year old's who have...You are my heroes.
STOP doubting yourself before you get a chance to try it. In high school I severely injured my knees from running and competition. To the point that I was informed my likelihood of having knee replacement surgery was extremely high. I gave up running for years and only until last year did I feel inspired to do something about a goal I once had for myself. I always imagined myself running a half marathon. I watched and cheered many of my friends on from the sidelines. Living passionately through them and their successes. Last year I put my best foot forward and completed the Vegas Half for myself, instead of for time. I eliminated the inner dialogue that my knees couldn't sustain the endurance and found that what my knees couldn't stand, was my lack of faith in myself. I finished, recovered and felt so inspired that I have begin to train for the LA Marathon for next year. The best advice I have ever been given is this, "Don't stop yourself before you have had a chance to grow."
One time in your life consider doing what you fear most and then Do It! I have always wanted to spend time in a distant place and experience life through other peoples eyes. Mainly for charitable pursuits and to be of service to others who are greatly in need. Over the years I have considered the peacecore, visiting and staying in ashrams, etc. However, none of those choices have ever come to fruition nor have I pursued them aggressively enough. Recently through a quiet moment I meditated on where I was to be lead to next. Something I do rather often as I look towards universal guidance to spark the flame for my next endeavor. The next day a yoga student of mine informed me of a program where I could teach yoga in Hawaii for a month in exchange for food and board. Now to be quite honest any other time the thought of being away from home for an entire month would terrify me. Not to mention provoke feelings of homesickness before I have set out to buy my ticket and board a plan. This time however, the feeling is very different. One of excitement and intrigue. I have yet to receive all the details but to even consider such an outlandish idea has me feeling alive again.
What I have come to discover is that while I was in search of "Becoming That Girl" I became her. There is still much I wish to experience and many more adventures I hope to add to my own repertoire but in the process I have become someone I can be proud of. Rather I ever make it to a foreign land or not is besides the point. Its all the knowledge, wisdom and events I have stumbled upon throughout the process that is the most rewarding.
~M
Monday, April 8, 2013
Revealing the Truth within You
The recent months have been quite challenging. As my life literally slowed down to a halt (thanks to the divine universe) I was given the opportunity to receive a mini tune up. Illness is not what most would set as an intention in order to get a little R&R out of life. However, for some of us who do not seem to heed the warning signs, take scheduled breaks or even bother to check in with our own self care while we busy ourselves being crusaders...this is exactly what happens. Its the divine intervention that comes along to periodically remind us to wake up, step out and change it up just a bit because the system we have enlisted to operate our daily functions is not proficient. I being amongst the masses found myself virtually depleted by the time my systems failed.
Thankful for strong friends and bonded family my journey was one gifted of love and blessings as I navigated my way out of what I had created. Yes....created, in order to realign my life to something much more befitting for who I was currently becoming. Being gifted nothing but time I needed to relearn what it meant to "self-care" in a positive way. As I worked through the feelings of guilt and shame, self-worth and many others illuminating my existence as I traveled down a new path, I found clarity. Peace of mind that I wasn't caring what society thought of me. That I wasn't consumed even with what my own mind thought of me. My only focus was upon resting and fulfilling my exhaustion. There is great honesty that comes from when we are unable to escape from ourselves. The honesty that cuts through the half truths, the lies and the fallacies we take on from others to create as our own personal mantras. Through rest, surgery and recuperation I was able to be realigned with my own true voice once again. She is one of balance, truth and stamina.
I am hard pressed to believe that we don't change unless we are inspired or forced to do so. Even then I like to believe we evolve. Keeping the beauty that is in each of us and creating upon that for a brighter more illuminating self. We are challenged daily with obstacles set up to help us succeed and grow. However, in doing so they also challenge our core as well as our principles in how we live. It is for us and us alone to become stronger then that which we face. To care more about ourselves then others do for us and to always listen to that deep intuition which tells us when the image we see does not reflect back what we feel. Each challenge in life is another gifted opportunity for us to become a better version of ourselves. A chance to sit and ponder if we are living a life that represents who we are and where we want to go. Its also a moment to acknowledge that we are doing the best that we can, with what we have, based on where we are currently.
I humbly bow before my personal challenge and say, thank you.....thank you for showing me how to live in a different way then I knew before. Thank you for giving me an excuse to rest when I didn't know how to verbalize it for myself. Thank you for helping me work through the guilt of saying no and setting even better boundaries then previously. Thank you for reminding me of my masculine side so therefore my feminine is now balanced. Thank you for loving me so much that you came in at a time when I needed to learn how to efficiently love myself. All and all may next time I listen to your gentle whisper so I don't need to pay homage to your violent roar.
~M
Thankful for strong friends and bonded family my journey was one gifted of love and blessings as I navigated my way out of what I had created. Yes....created, in order to realign my life to something much more befitting for who I was currently becoming. Being gifted nothing but time I needed to relearn what it meant to "self-care" in a positive way. As I worked through the feelings of guilt and shame, self-worth and many others illuminating my existence as I traveled down a new path, I found clarity. Peace of mind that I wasn't caring what society thought of me. That I wasn't consumed even with what my own mind thought of me. My only focus was upon resting and fulfilling my exhaustion. There is great honesty that comes from when we are unable to escape from ourselves. The honesty that cuts through the half truths, the lies and the fallacies we take on from others to create as our own personal mantras. Through rest, surgery and recuperation I was able to be realigned with my own true voice once again. She is one of balance, truth and stamina.
I am hard pressed to believe that we don't change unless we are inspired or forced to do so. Even then I like to believe we evolve. Keeping the beauty that is in each of us and creating upon that for a brighter more illuminating self. We are challenged daily with obstacles set up to help us succeed and grow. However, in doing so they also challenge our core as well as our principles in how we live. It is for us and us alone to become stronger then that which we face. To care more about ourselves then others do for us and to always listen to that deep intuition which tells us when the image we see does not reflect back what we feel. Each challenge in life is another gifted opportunity for us to become a better version of ourselves. A chance to sit and ponder if we are living a life that represents who we are and where we want to go. Its also a moment to acknowledge that we are doing the best that we can, with what we have, based on where we are currently.
I humbly bow before my personal challenge and say, thank you.....thank you for showing me how to live in a different way then I knew before. Thank you for giving me an excuse to rest when I didn't know how to verbalize it for myself. Thank you for helping me work through the guilt of saying no and setting even better boundaries then previously. Thank you for reminding me of my masculine side so therefore my feminine is now balanced. Thank you for loving me so much that you came in at a time when I needed to learn how to efficiently love myself. All and all may next time I listen to your gentle whisper so I don't need to pay homage to your violent roar.
~M
Sunday, August 5, 2012
The Pillars of Our Existence
Throughout our simple lives we meet the most unlikely of characters who become pillars of our existence. Muses for those who allow themselves to become enamored with the desire to find fuel for their lacklusterous lives. They build these pillars high and bestow abnormal praise upon them in an attempt to glorify what they have accomplished due to their blinding light. Are they however truly magnificent? To the ones who deem them as they are. To the ones who view their accomplished archives as exuberance achieved within their good graces. These pillars are viewed as gifts from the Gods. Presents of pain as well as divine mercy achieved through the acts of suffering. For the Gods move mountains but their humbles decreet the process. Do remember though that the most beautiful resurrects from that of a place of pain.
~M
~M
Monday, July 23, 2012
Shimming through the streets of NYC
As I look back on the last time I posted on here I was in the thralls of some major life changes. A move, an ending, a new life, a renewal and an opening to what was to come. As many who choose to live a spiritual path know, what we hope for, try to create and plan to obtain rarely happen. What does happen is the unexpected, the grace and the letting go in order to live a life more in the flow of the universe. The move vanished after an excruciating 4 months of hard lessons. The ending prolonged onward and the renewal? Well....lets just say that life is a continuous renewal of circumstance. So needless to say after 9 months of heartache, frustration and lackluster feelings I came up with the brilliant idea to take life by the reins once more and live vivaciously. Where did this courageous idea lead me you ask?? Right into the heart of "The Big Apple" on a spiritual discovery of a lifetime. Now I wont condone that one needs to asterbate adventure in order to find a little spiritualism. But I will say that when you have soured of your surrounds what better then to change the scenery. My entire life I have been comprised by a love affair with NYC. For no other reason then the chills I gained every time the city was mentioned or seen. I longed for the excitement and adventure it seemed to loudly boasts. So what better time to make the leap then after months of anticipated drama. In a hours time over a glass of wine with a friend the tickets were bought, the trip was planned and the only details were that we were going without there being any details. True spontaneity!!! As some of you know from the past I have never allowed myself this freedom. However, like a dog who has broken his leash and has had a taste of freedom. I too vow to never go back to my old ways ever again.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Answer The Question Playing In My Mind.....Guess The Truth Within My Heart
Tonight I sit, ponder and wonder. As I caste an image of questionable doubt. Am I what people see me as and what that is I have a doubt. An image of eluding light. A glimpse of glittering spiraling sight. A reflection off someone else's airs. An uncapturing being with flowing hair. A wondrous movement. A bellowing sight. A justified mirage of captivation and hype. A spiritual voice with rhythmic usage. A gentle being or perhaps just a diversion. A breath of air every once in a while. A sensuous taste, part of the experience. A question, a verb, an it or a noun. The thoughts within continue to spiritual down. Until at last I escape into the silence. The peace of what stands before me in conclusion. No more thoughts just restful knowledge from the image that stares back at me. The deep meaning within the pooling eyes. Threads of evidence of wisdom and time. Not hidden from view, nor portrayed in the open. There for viewing if the one glimpsing is truthful. Come a little closure. Step to the side. Look again do you see it this time? Perhaps a guess but just in passing. The truth is there if the time spent is longer then glancing. No. Perhaps not yet but in time. The image will emerge forth with a gentle pride. Fore, all that is needed is deep inside. Looking, waiting, giving time for when the glimpse is justified. Still not pardoned, your guess is incorrect. The question has changed and their isn't time for another attempt. Movement is made on behalf of the one in the mirror. Surrender....your thoughts. Surrender....your fear. Until the game is played again. A standoff remains without a win. The pattern replays itself again and again until persistence allows one with the truth to finally come in.
~M
Tonight I sit, ponder and wonder. As I caste an image of questionable doubt. Am I what people see me as and what that is I have a doubt. An image of eluding light. A glimpse of glittering spiraling sight. A reflection off someone else's airs. An uncapturing being with flowing hair. A wondrous movement. A bellowing sight. A justified mirage of captivation and hype. A spiritual voice with rhythmic usage. A gentle being or perhaps just a diversion. A breath of air every once in a while. A sensuous taste, part of the experience. A question, a verb, an it or a noun. The thoughts within continue to spiritual down. Until at last I escape into the silence. The peace of what stands before me in conclusion. No more thoughts just restful knowledge from the image that stares back at me. The deep meaning within the pooling eyes. Threads of evidence of wisdom and time. Not hidden from view, nor portrayed in the open. There for viewing if the one glimpsing is truthful. Come a little closure. Step to the side. Look again do you see it this time? Perhaps a guess but just in passing. The truth is there if the time spent is longer then glancing. No. Perhaps not yet but in time. The image will emerge forth with a gentle pride. Fore, all that is needed is deep inside. Looking, waiting, giving time for when the glimpse is justified. Still not pardoned, your guess is incorrect. The question has changed and their isn't time for another attempt. Movement is made on behalf of the one in the mirror. Surrender....your thoughts. Surrender....your fear. Until the game is played again. A standoff remains without a win. The pattern replays itself again and again until persistence allows one with the truth to finally come in.
~M
Friday, February 10, 2012
The Lady Lark
As we dive deeper into 2012 the changes just keep coming!! The recent purchase of another home has made allowances for some new year cleaning . As I prepare to end my love affair with my current historical gem, I must say goodbye to some of the items accumulated along the way. This past weekend as I begun to sort and box up contents of the garage I ran across a stack of papers in a far corner. Amongst those papers to my surprise was an undated poem I had written years prior. I'm unsure as to what I was eluding to in the poem, but here it is anyways for your delight.
The Lady Lark
Comes says the lady lark I will sing you a song about a love that once was but somehow went mistakenly wrong. I will sing a tale of sorrow from my bearded breast and from it you will hear of wisdom put to an unfathomable test.
Come says the lady lark sit by me and ponder, about a time where loves heart kept solance in wonder. Years wasted through and through. Still lessons unlearned. True loves hand wipes ones own tears wept through hurt. Inability to break the silence rung true by another. Push and pull the sacred circles thou shall not break. Captured with the burden of love, which doesn't take.
Come says the lady lark I will provide you with a guide. To take away all that hurts and lock it away from you for the time. Answers are not yours until the chime of the golden dawn. So sit on my cherish stump and look beyond the wavy lines. Stand before the palms that appear before innocent eyes. Pure heart, pure soul, no time for pride.
Come says the lady lark let me tell you the tale of another. Whose disposition is taught to fight loves grace and never to surrender. A solider of such, whose lines tell a story of beseech. Whose own story is so convincingly jaded there is no room for their soul to sleep.
Come says the lady lark as it descends from its stance. To capture a glimpse of the love whose hand presumes to continuously feed. I offer you empty promises and words of broken tales. Yet, you continue to feed me the last of your entrails. To give so deeply of yourself when I am only fit to sing. This song of love that once was but somehow went mistakenly wrong.
~M
The Lady Lark
Comes says the lady lark I will sing you a song about a love that once was but somehow went mistakenly wrong. I will sing a tale of sorrow from my bearded breast and from it you will hear of wisdom put to an unfathomable test.
Come says the lady lark sit by me and ponder, about a time where loves heart kept solance in wonder. Years wasted through and through. Still lessons unlearned. True loves hand wipes ones own tears wept through hurt. Inability to break the silence rung true by another. Push and pull the sacred circles thou shall not break. Captured with the burden of love, which doesn't take.
Come says the lady lark I will provide you with a guide. To take away all that hurts and lock it away from you for the time. Answers are not yours until the chime of the golden dawn. So sit on my cherish stump and look beyond the wavy lines. Stand before the palms that appear before innocent eyes. Pure heart, pure soul, no time for pride.
Come says the lady lark let me tell you the tale of another. Whose disposition is taught to fight loves grace and never to surrender. A solider of such, whose lines tell a story of beseech. Whose own story is so convincingly jaded there is no room for their soul to sleep.
Come says the lady lark as it descends from its stance. To capture a glimpse of the love whose hand presumes to continuously feed. I offer you empty promises and words of broken tales. Yet, you continue to feed me the last of your entrails. To give so deeply of yourself when I am only fit to sing. This song of love that once was but somehow went mistakenly wrong.
~M
Monday, January 2, 2012
The Birds of The Garden
As I finished my last yoga session of the day, taking a moment to feel the warm Cali sunlight streaming through the large front window. I instantly became captivated by the emerald green sparkling off the backs of a pair of hummingbirds fluttering before me. "Hello, my beloved friends" I called out. Welcoming their high spiritedness and vigorous as they carried on beckoning me to join in their gallant dance. Taking only but a moment to decide that today would be a fine day to join in and do some gardening.
I quickly grabbed my flip flops and throw open the french doors to allow the warmth outside to greet my body. 80 degrees in January is what I call perfection!!!! Picking up the watering hose and delightfully giving the delicate plants a spray down, I noticed the remains of aphids upon my heirloom climbing roses. Not one to use pesticides, I had decided to leave the former summertime problem to Mother Nature to sort out for me. Choosing to resort to chemicals if need be as an end result.
However, Mother Nature had handled the problem beautifully by inviting a hundred or more finches to feed. As I washed the remains off the roses, filled the bird baths and fountains with fresh water, I delightfully watched as the birds joyfully began to bathe. Such simplicity found amongst these tiny creatures. As they went about their business, unaware of my presence. Chasing one another around, indulging upon the harvest bird seed left out for them and enjoying the camaraderie of one another. I listened to their rhythmic song played out as it lifted my heart and allowed my soul to sail to a space far from where my feet touched the ground. As I gracefully slumped down, soon finding myself in a lotus position, I begin to meditate.
Following the minut breeze as I inhaled and exhaled a 4-4-8 sequence. Instantly my third eye began to warm and my crown gently opened to my higher self. Quietening my ego for a moment in time to receive the valuable answers I always welcome receiving. I released any form of control as I soared through colors and images, allowing my body this time to further unfold. As I gently opened my eyes about a good twenty minutes later, I bowed my head this time in Namaste to the Birds Of My Garden (or perhaps theirs) for beckoning me to come join them today. To change the pace and instead of systematically meditating on the mat, to get really grounded with my bottom grounded to....well, the ground.
Today I give gratitude, not only to the tiny creatures but to Spirit as well for the ingenious way of keeping me committed to my thoughts, wants and desires. It was only yesterday in which I mentioned briefly my idea to want to relinquish routine. To experience life and what I needed to achieve, anywhere....everywhere. Instead of through how, "I thought" it had to be done. Today was a perfect example of that fruition. As I focus on keeping my mind clear, my heart open and my thoughts simple as well as pure, I excite over the possibility of further growth. Today the Birds Of The Garden will be shown my ever growing gratitude for them, by receiving a handful of blackberries along with their seed.
~M
"No Bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings"
William Blake (1757-1827)
I quickly grabbed my flip flops and throw open the french doors to allow the warmth outside to greet my body. 80 degrees in January is what I call perfection!!!! Picking up the watering hose and delightfully giving the delicate plants a spray down, I noticed the remains of aphids upon my heirloom climbing roses. Not one to use pesticides, I had decided to leave the former summertime problem to Mother Nature to sort out for me. Choosing to resort to chemicals if need be as an end result.
However, Mother Nature had handled the problem beautifully by inviting a hundred or more finches to feed. As I washed the remains off the roses, filled the bird baths and fountains with fresh water, I delightfully watched as the birds joyfully began to bathe. Such simplicity found amongst these tiny creatures. As they went about their business, unaware of my presence. Chasing one another around, indulging upon the harvest bird seed left out for them and enjoying the camaraderie of one another. I listened to their rhythmic song played out as it lifted my heart and allowed my soul to sail to a space far from where my feet touched the ground. As I gracefully slumped down, soon finding myself in a lotus position, I begin to meditate.
Following the minut breeze as I inhaled and exhaled a 4-4-8 sequence. Instantly my third eye began to warm and my crown gently opened to my higher self. Quietening my ego for a moment in time to receive the valuable answers I always welcome receiving. I released any form of control as I soared through colors and images, allowing my body this time to further unfold. As I gently opened my eyes about a good twenty minutes later, I bowed my head this time in Namaste to the Birds Of My Garden (or perhaps theirs) for beckoning me to come join them today. To change the pace and instead of systematically meditating on the mat, to get really grounded with my bottom grounded to....well, the ground.
Today I give gratitude, not only to the tiny creatures but to Spirit as well for the ingenious way of keeping me committed to my thoughts, wants and desires. It was only yesterday in which I mentioned briefly my idea to want to relinquish routine. To experience life and what I needed to achieve, anywhere....everywhere. Instead of through how, "I thought" it had to be done. Today was a perfect example of that fruition. As I focus on keeping my mind clear, my heart open and my thoughts simple as well as pure, I excite over the possibility of further growth. Today the Birds Of The Garden will be shown my ever growing gratitude for them, by receiving a handful of blackberries along with their seed.
~M
"No Bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings"
William Blake (1757-1827)
Saturday, December 31, 2011
As One Chapter Ends Another Begins.
As I prepare to say goodbye to 2011, I glance back on the lessons learned and accomplishments achieved. Blissful that some chapters have ended in my life, others are ending and a few that need to find there way to an end. I acknowledge all I have gone through and prepare to continue to go through until lessons are eventually fully learnt. The thing with lessons....They never "just disappear". They do come back later in life to resurrect like old soldiers, to test and push ones limits again and again. In an attempt to finally be understood and perhaps even put to rest for once and for all.
Too say that this year was smooth would be a drastic misinterpretation upon my part. Pushed beyond limits I normally would never have dreamt to cross. I found myself for the fist time surrendering to many things I normally would have had the energy or spirit to want to fight. There is something to be said for true surrendering. Not that found out of weakness of will but that found out of finding true peace within. That place where one finally admits to oneself that to go on in the direction formally chosen would be a determent to oneself as well as all involved.
Surrender, was not one of my easiest achievable task. However, after enough waves crashed down upon me this entire year I finally submitted to what was, is or will be. As I find my way to other paths, I focus on restructuring and elongating my former ideas into a new image. Have I learned this lesson completely? I'm sure the answer would be no but I am however, farther along then when I started. I am certainly stronger then I once was and I have faith that all I have endured is for my highest purpose. Fore, as much as I have questioned my faith and trust in spirit profusely this year; I have somehow never felt closer.
The wounds are still fresh. The images still raw from the challenges and battles fought. The lessons still needing to be processed and absorbed fully, but I give abundant thanks to the tremendous support within my life. Here on earth and above for sustaining me when I felt I couldn't. When I felt I was broken. Fore, in those darkest times the light shined even more magnificent and I could (if just for a moment) realize all was not lost.
It is true what they say....How angels live amongst us. I have had the eminent pleasure of meeting many who have graced me with their love, kindness and generosity of spirit. Many who have come to seek my support and in return have sustained life within me instead. I give repeated thanks to all I have been given. Although this year will stick out in my mind for many to come. I pay homage to my spirit still being here to further learn. Happy New Years my beloveds and may your journeys be just as blessed in whatever path you chose. *Big Hugs*
~M
Too say that this year was smooth would be a drastic misinterpretation upon my part. Pushed beyond limits I normally would never have dreamt to cross. I found myself for the fist time surrendering to many things I normally would have had the energy or spirit to want to fight. There is something to be said for true surrendering. Not that found out of weakness of will but that found out of finding true peace within. That place where one finally admits to oneself that to go on in the direction formally chosen would be a determent to oneself as well as all involved.
Surrender, was not one of my easiest achievable task. However, after enough waves crashed down upon me this entire year I finally submitted to what was, is or will be. As I find my way to other paths, I focus on restructuring and elongating my former ideas into a new image. Have I learned this lesson completely? I'm sure the answer would be no but I am however, farther along then when I started. I am certainly stronger then I once was and I have faith that all I have endured is for my highest purpose. Fore, as much as I have questioned my faith and trust in spirit profusely this year; I have somehow never felt closer.
The wounds are still fresh. The images still raw from the challenges and battles fought. The lessons still needing to be processed and absorbed fully, but I give abundant thanks to the tremendous support within my life. Here on earth and above for sustaining me when I felt I couldn't. When I felt I was broken. Fore, in those darkest times the light shined even more magnificent and I could (if just for a moment) realize all was not lost.
It is true what they say....How angels live amongst us. I have had the eminent pleasure of meeting many who have graced me with their love, kindness and generosity of spirit. Many who have come to seek my support and in return have sustained life within me instead. I give repeated thanks to all I have been given. Although this year will stick out in my mind for many to come. I pay homage to my spirit still being here to further learn. Happy New Years my beloveds and may your journeys be just as blessed in whatever path you chose. *Big Hugs*
~M
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Looking Glass
As I set my goals for 2012 I peak with excitement over the thought of actually getting some of my works published. One of my many goals for years now. I finally feel the need, want and yes...Shall I dare say it. The desire to want to embark on that type of an adventure this upcoming year. As the shifts occur, yearnings heighten and ideas blossom. What better time then the year of the Mayan calender to allow myself to make these things happen. So....I leave you with another tidbit from my steamer trunk of marvels to read, be inspired by and hopefully feel your own tingling of desire to live life authentically and most of all audaciously.
Looking Glass
She looks through the looking glass with unassuming wonder. All she sees is the youthful appearance, lasting love and happiness distorted. Her smile, she smiles shows the test of ecstasy uncovered. A childlike appearance at the grace of being discovered. The joy which would start as a subtle note becomes quite something more. Before she knows it her eyes are filled with contempt where callousness once sought.
He looks through the looking glass and all he sees is distorted clutter. A vague picture of what could be but too time consuming to discover. He conquers through the excess and gets to the prize. A pint size pearl he claims as his for his deserving time. He doesn't look back in fear, fore he may see. All that illuminates is more then just the beautiful pearls sheen. Taken by such a collection, he keeps it close within his grasp. To brag and boast of his heroic past. He awes and marvels at it every once in awhile. Even though its cream, he dearly wishes it were anything but such.
This pearl of uncontaminated beauty, with its illustrious sheen. Has now begin to crack around the edges from his constant mishandling. The creaminess can no longer maintain its pureness and begins to turn to grey. It dissolves its creamiest parts somewhere in attempts that no one will seek to see. Soon he caste aside the pearl into a box. Along with keys and such that have long outlived their duty, as masters of the lock.
She looks through the looking glass and all this time she sees, is what is....Instead of once what could be. A grim and bleak existence of the illumination to the thought of what once was. She grips the handle tighter and peering deeper into the glass does she. To discover what lies deep beneath the surface is that of a true mystery.
The glass provides her with no more information for it has outlived its stay. Instead when she looks into it this time all she sees is she. Just a faintness of cream remains within the inner source. Not at all as luminous as once was but very much wanting to be restored.
~M
Looking Glass
She looks through the looking glass with unassuming wonder. All she sees is the youthful appearance, lasting love and happiness distorted. Her smile, she smiles shows the test of ecstasy uncovered. A childlike appearance at the grace of being discovered. The joy which would start as a subtle note becomes quite something more. Before she knows it her eyes are filled with contempt where callousness once sought.
He looks through the looking glass and all he sees is distorted clutter. A vague picture of what could be but too time consuming to discover. He conquers through the excess and gets to the prize. A pint size pearl he claims as his for his deserving time. He doesn't look back in fear, fore he may see. All that illuminates is more then just the beautiful pearls sheen. Taken by such a collection, he keeps it close within his grasp. To brag and boast of his heroic past. He awes and marvels at it every once in awhile. Even though its cream, he dearly wishes it were anything but such.
This pearl of uncontaminated beauty, with its illustrious sheen. Has now begin to crack around the edges from his constant mishandling. The creaminess can no longer maintain its pureness and begins to turn to grey. It dissolves its creamiest parts somewhere in attempts that no one will seek to see. Soon he caste aside the pearl into a box. Along with keys and such that have long outlived their duty, as masters of the lock.
She looks through the looking glass and all this time she sees, is what is....Instead of once what could be. A grim and bleak existence of the illumination to the thought of what once was. She grips the handle tighter and peering deeper into the glass does she. To discover what lies deep beneath the surface is that of a true mystery.
The glass provides her with no more information for it has outlived its stay. Instead when she looks into it this time all she sees is she. Just a faintness of cream remains within the inner source. Not at all as luminous as once was but very much wanting to be restored.
~M
Friday, December 23, 2011
Black Feather....Black Feather....Tis Is I Who Sees You
As most of you are aware of I recently lost my Great Aunt to cancer this year. Having made it to her ninety first Birthday, her life was far from boring. She was a tenaciously strong-willed and fathomable women. One whom I honored and cherished as a role model for many of my various endeavors. Always there as a backer in all I chose to take on, I basked in her naches of me. Since the day of her passing, I have been repeatedly gifted with black feathers. Now those of my dearest and closest know well my home is nothing but a feather haven. Down pillows and comforters, couch cushions and feather lined garments. However, I rarely find black feathers floating throughout my home, car and varies visited establishments.
That has of course all changed these last two weeks. First impression was a proverbial feeling of warmth and compassion that yes indeed spirit was mourning along beside me. Supporting me in my humanistic time of grief and sorrow. That quickly changed as the days drew on and the feathers quickly increased. Black feathers on my pillow case upon waking up. Black feathers on a restaurant table. Black feathers on a public sink counter, in a photo album, in the car console, at a friends house and even one small black feather lying across my cats back. Rather its symbolic of her passing, her presence still with me (even in the after life) or simply a clue that certain times have come to an end. I honor the symbol bestowed upon me. This black feather consort. I give thanks not only to the unknown, but also to my newly heightened awareness to see such gifting as truly a gift.
~M
That has of course all changed these last two weeks. First impression was a proverbial feeling of warmth and compassion that yes indeed spirit was mourning along beside me. Supporting me in my humanistic time of grief and sorrow. That quickly changed as the days drew on and the feathers quickly increased. Black feathers on my pillow case upon waking up. Black feathers on a restaurant table. Black feathers on a public sink counter, in a photo album, in the car console, at a friends house and even one small black feather lying across my cats back. Rather its symbolic of her passing, her presence still with me (even in the after life) or simply a clue that certain times have come to an end. I honor the symbol bestowed upon me. This black feather consort. I give thanks not only to the unknown, but also to my newly heightened awareness to see such gifting as truly a gift.
~M
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Welcoming "The Pointe" Into My Life Creating a Peaceful Heart
Every since I could remember I have been enthralled with ballet. The grace and precision of movements. The beauty and gleam of the elegant costumes worn during productions like the Nutcracker or Sleeping Beauty. The beauty captured through years of dedication, hard work and discipline, creating a master piece to be shared by the general public. As a little girl placed in every dance class but ballet I envied my friends who were. Classified as having weak ankles early on I was cast aside to to take up activities like tap, tumbling and equestrian riding. However, my heart always belonged to the rhythem of ballet. Fast forwarding decades ahead and now at the ripe age of thirty three I have begun to finally live my childhood dream.
As any Guru will tell you. To dream big is to embrace life. So taking the advice of the Gurus who have graced my former years I decided in a instant to embrace my hearts desire and quickly immersed myself into "The Pointe" or rather the beginner positions of grace. After years of studying yoga I felt there was never a better time to achieve discipline and expand my present day knowledge of the human form. Therefore, choosing to study ballet, that which repetitiously tries and taxes the body. No sooner did I utter my words of want and desire did I become blessed by the Universe. Receiving private lessons from a former yoga client of mine who danced in the New York City Ballet. Having had her own studio and now formerly retired, CD agreed to take me on as her one and only private student. Oh the excitement and glee that penetrated my body transforming me into not that of the present day adult but instead that of the child who's miraculous wish was finally coming true.
I watched as my family, friends and clients honored my decision to dance and supported my efforts. Not only with encouragement but with ballet shoes, outfits and reading material. Basking in their love and praise I have found that it truly is never too late to live out a dream. In the end it is "We" who put a stop to our inner most desires. We who limit proceeding forward. We who's negative self-talk creeps in to destroy that which is beautiful, pure and whole. Telling us lies about not being good enough, pretty enough or young enough. In the end it is We who limit the possibilities for ourselves. When and only when We are able to achieve balance within and calm the voice inside can We further succeed. As I learn intense discipline, curbing the want to cry as my body and positions are rigorously picked over. Allowing the pain I feel within my body to keep me present as I rest my foot on the barre. I finally find myself becoming my own best friend as I leave a lesson tattered, sweaty and looking in shambles. Today I give homage to my practice of yoga through my practice of ballet, relishing in a peaceful heart as I lay silently in Shavasana (Corpse pose). Giving quiet thanks to have this chance to just surrender.....to what currently just is.
~M
As any Guru will tell you. To dream big is to embrace life. So taking the advice of the Gurus who have graced my former years I decided in a instant to embrace my hearts desire and quickly immersed myself into "The Pointe" or rather the beginner positions of grace. After years of studying yoga I felt there was never a better time to achieve discipline and expand my present day knowledge of the human form. Therefore, choosing to study ballet, that which repetitiously tries and taxes the body. No sooner did I utter my words of want and desire did I become blessed by the Universe. Receiving private lessons from a former yoga client of mine who danced in the New York City Ballet. Having had her own studio and now formerly retired, CD agreed to take me on as her one and only private student. Oh the excitement and glee that penetrated my body transforming me into not that of the present day adult but instead that of the child who's miraculous wish was finally coming true.
I watched as my family, friends and clients honored my decision to dance and supported my efforts. Not only with encouragement but with ballet shoes, outfits and reading material. Basking in their love and praise I have found that it truly is never too late to live out a dream. In the end it is "We" who put a stop to our inner most desires. We who limit proceeding forward. We who's negative self-talk creeps in to destroy that which is beautiful, pure and whole. Telling us lies about not being good enough, pretty enough or young enough. In the end it is We who limit the possibilities for ourselves. When and only when We are able to achieve balance within and calm the voice inside can We further succeed. As I learn intense discipline, curbing the want to cry as my body and positions are rigorously picked over. Allowing the pain I feel within my body to keep me present as I rest my foot on the barre. I finally find myself becoming my own best friend as I leave a lesson tattered, sweaty and looking in shambles. Today I give homage to my practice of yoga through my practice of ballet, relishing in a peaceful heart as I lay silently in Shavasana (Corpse pose). Giving quiet thanks to have this chance to just surrender.....to what currently just is.
~M
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
The winds of change
As the comfort of once was begins to shift into what is, the journey is not always a rather smooth one. Try as we might to hold on grasping for the known we get sweeped away in the currents of life. As we glance back behind us (owning the choice to do so) we reshape and characterize that which we see. That which we have already lived. Either for the purpose of positive growth or for the negativity which holds us back and keeps us unaccountable. For everything in life can be made into a reality and every individual has a story. However at the end of the day what truly matters is your reality to your story. Your truth, your understanding, your version of what is. It is in that version that critics your next move in life. The next chapter rather to your own story.
Monday, October 10, 2011
Breathe Life Into Me
In taking a short respite from blogging I took the opportunity to entertain myself by rummaging through some of my streamer trunks filled with examples of my older writings. All those who know me best understand the excitement I relish in when it comes to my artistic flair with words. It truly is my sanctuary where I have the liberty to fully express and play with the formations that come. As I start listening more and more to those same friends cheering me on to write a book, I have decided to test the waters with an example of one of my favorite pieces I wrote a few years ago while questioning spirituality......Hard for me to imagine words like this coming from me now at this point in my life. Little rusty but i'm looking forward to channeling the creative energy once again. Hope you enjoy the piece as much as I did when I wrote it!!!!!!
My beautiful being. My perfect illustration of man. My illicit conquest with your perfect form and adorning eyes. How I wait for you to fill me with your all knowingness. Oh how I breathe in the breath of your holiness through the pores of your body. To be close to you, to smell you, to feel your touch upon my skin is to know God. How may one ever be normal after one has been graced by the hand of God. Seen by the eyes of God and known by the servant of God. Advised by the tongue of God. To lie in your wakeness is to be consumed by your majestic spiritualism. I want to lay in your presence for eternity. To pray to be your devout worshiper. To give thanks and praise to your magnificent self. I pay tribute to your beauty and strength of character.
Where did you go when I needed you most as my confidant? Where were you my blessed being? Why did you abandon me out of choice when I needed you most. When I needed you near. When I needed your touch, your stroke, your embrace. I cried and you did not come for me this time. I cried louder and you heard not. My sacred presence.....Why have you forsaken me? My perfect spiritual being I have left the door open but you have yet to walk through. You have abandon me when it was I who should have abandon you.
Oh great torturer; nomad of the plains. You have captured my longing heart in years time as well as my famishing sense of pride. Away with you and bless me with crisp surrenderance instead of ones hau`te arrogance. Quiet my wandering tempestuous mannerism with one cool eloquent brush of the hand. Take your turn to dance. Breathe softness into my form. Enrich me with your stroke, Breathe life into me. Awaken me once again to begin. Surrender. Surrender your sword into my heart and let me feel the burn of truth, of judgement and yes....resurrection.
Glide me across the floor like a bellowing heap, soft mounds reshaping into unfathomable remembrance. Elude me once more with your truth. Caste your glance into my eyes and say not, you love me. Rest your sword and for a moments time, once again I ask.....You share your ensemble wisdom. Breath life into me. Paddle my head with chimes of far off adventures, bliss charades of contentment and the bowing of ones innerself. Ask not for me to risk my soul in order to honor your good name. Ask not for me to know what song plays the rythmatic melody that teaches me to dance like so. Ask nothing and yes....Once again I ask for you to breathe life into me.
May I come to know your name. This nomad on a journey that shall be walked by none other. May I come to understand the meaning of the trickling elixir spread upon my lips. May I come not to question the severity of your sword as it pierces my flesh each surviving time and may I ask once again. As I often do. Breathe life into me. Fore without you there will be no sword to my truth.
~M
My beautiful being. My perfect illustration of man. My illicit conquest with your perfect form and adorning eyes. How I wait for you to fill me with your all knowingness. Oh how I breathe in the breath of your holiness through the pores of your body. To be close to you, to smell you, to feel your touch upon my skin is to know God. How may one ever be normal after one has been graced by the hand of God. Seen by the eyes of God and known by the servant of God. Advised by the tongue of God. To lie in your wakeness is to be consumed by your majestic spiritualism. I want to lay in your presence for eternity. To pray to be your devout worshiper. To give thanks and praise to your magnificent self. I pay tribute to your beauty and strength of character.
Where did you go when I needed you most as my confidant? Where were you my blessed being? Why did you abandon me out of choice when I needed you most. When I needed you near. When I needed your touch, your stroke, your embrace. I cried and you did not come for me this time. I cried louder and you heard not. My sacred presence.....Why have you forsaken me? My perfect spiritual being I have left the door open but you have yet to walk through. You have abandon me when it was I who should have abandon you.
Oh great torturer; nomad of the plains. You have captured my longing heart in years time as well as my famishing sense of pride. Away with you and bless me with crisp surrenderance instead of ones hau`te arrogance. Quiet my wandering tempestuous mannerism with one cool eloquent brush of the hand. Take your turn to dance. Breathe softness into my form. Enrich me with your stroke, Breathe life into me. Awaken me once again to begin. Surrender. Surrender your sword into my heart and let me feel the burn of truth, of judgement and yes....resurrection.
Glide me across the floor like a bellowing heap, soft mounds reshaping into unfathomable remembrance. Elude me once more with your truth. Caste your glance into my eyes and say not, you love me. Rest your sword and for a moments time, once again I ask.....You share your ensemble wisdom. Breath life into me. Paddle my head with chimes of far off adventures, bliss charades of contentment and the bowing of ones innerself. Ask not for me to risk my soul in order to honor your good name. Ask not for me to know what song plays the rythmatic melody that teaches me to dance like so. Ask nothing and yes....Once again I ask for you to breathe life into me.
May I come to know your name. This nomad on a journey that shall be walked by none other. May I come to understand the meaning of the trickling elixir spread upon my lips. May I come not to question the severity of your sword as it pierces my flesh each surviving time and may I ask once again. As I often do. Breathe life into me. Fore without you there will be no sword to my truth.
~M
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Open Heart Meditation
As you begin to become aware of your state of breath. You find yourself following it, allowing the inhale to lead you deep within yourself. Discovering the rhythm of your heart beat as it patters in procession with the rest of your body. Feeling the blood being pumped throughout in a silent gushing motion. Taking this time for yourself, you become aware of the state of your body. Listening to it for signs or evidence as to whats going on at this particular moment. As you bring full awareness to the sensations felt within, you begin to release any tension, stress, negativity and begin to ease even further into a state of pure relaxation. Allowing your mind to peacefully drift and float. Moving forwards and backwards, you soon find yourself traveling along a path. This path within nature begins to lead you directly into the middle of the woods. Surrounded by ancient trees, with their branches heavily laden with a canopy of leaves. The breeze soft and effortlessly begins to flow through the sky rustling the leaves ever so gently overhead. You find your eyes glazing up in wonderment and awe. Noticing the extrinsic detail of the lined bark upon the branches and the coloration of the multitude of finely textured leaves. Soon you begin following the merriment sound of birds singing in the near distance, as their wings allow for their bodies to float and glide from branch to branch without difficulty. Breathing in the air that surrounds, you become fully aware of the scents that fill your lungs. Allowing for their detection to uncover memories from within your heart. Times long ago once again claim their space within the forefront of your mind. A gift from within pushing its way to be remembered once more. As you ease into the sensations surrounding your body giving yourself the time needed to engage in these thoughts and feelings. Honoring yourself, as well as your body by uncovering fully that which lies within you. The comforting breeze of mother nature coaxes you gently through the process as she nudges you forward along the trail like a mothers hand pressed lovingly against your lower back. You do not fight her but rather willingly allow for her to lead you into a beautiful clearing filled with love. Silently you slump onto the ground allowing for the earth to embrace your body with her sweet caress and allow yourself to have an experience. As she closes off your senses to the outside world, your eyes close momentarily and all you see before you is that which lies within you. You begin traveling through the corridors of your inner self. Allowing for the light within to lead you through the catacomb of life's experiences. A knowingness within supplies you with the foresight of how to navigate such tunnels and with agility you weave your way through. Captivated by the information which appears before you in the form of images, words, or perhaps sense. You embrace this knowledge which is you with love and acceptance and allow for the wholeness it provides to be reacquainted with the rest of your memories.
Soon you stand before a door.
To Be Continued.........
Soon you stand before a door.
To Be Continued.........
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