As One Chapter Ends Another Begins.

As I prepare to say goodbye to 2011, I glance back on the lessons learned and  accomplishments achieved.  Blissful that some chapters have ended in my life, others are ending and a few that need to find there way to an end.  I acknowledge all I have gone through and prepare to continue to go through until lessons are eventually fully learnt.  The thing with lessons....They never "just disappear".  They do come back later in life to resurrect like old soldiers, to test and push ones limits again and again.  In an attempt to finally be understood and perhaps even put to rest for once and for all.

Too say that this year was smooth would be a drastic misinterpretation upon my part.  Pushed beyond limits I normally would never have dreamt to cross.  I found myself for the fist time surrendering to many things I normally would have had the energy or spirit to want to fight.  There is something to be said for true surrendering. Not that found out of weakness of will but that found out of finding true peace within.  That place where one finally admits to oneself that to go on in the direction formally chosen would be a determent to oneself as well as all involved.

Surrender, was not one of my easiest achievable task.  However, after enough waves crashed down upon me this entire year I finally submitted to what was, is or will be.  As I find my way to other paths, I focus on restructuring and elongating my former ideas into a new image.  Have I learned this lesson completely?  I'm sure the answer would be no but I am however, farther along then when I started.  I am certainly stronger then I once was and I have faith that all I have endured is for my highest purpose.  Fore, as much as I have questioned my faith and trust in spirit profusely this year;  I have somehow never felt closer.

The wounds are still fresh.  The images still raw from the challenges and battles fought.  The lessons still needing to be processed and absorbed fully, but I give abundant thanks to the tremendous support within my life.  Here on earth and above for sustaining me when I felt I couldn't.  When I felt I was broken.  Fore, in those darkest times the light shined even more magnificent and I could (if just for a moment) realize all was not lost.

It is true what they say....How angels live amongst us.  I have had the eminent pleasure of meeting many who have graced me with their love, kindness and generosity of spirit.  Many who have come to seek my support and in return have sustained life within me instead. I give repeated thanks to all I have been given.  Although this year will stick out in my mind for many to come.  I pay homage to my spirit still being here to further learn.  Happy New Years my beloveds and may your journeys be just as blessed in whatever path you chose.   *Big Hugs*
~M

The winds of change

As the comfort of once was begins to shift into what is, the journey is not always a rather smooth one.  Try as we might to hold on grasping for the known we get sweeped away in the currents of life.  As we glance back behind us (owning the choice to do so) we reshape and characterize that which we see.  That which we have already lived.  Either for the purpose of positive growth or for the negativity which holds us back and keeps us unaccountable.  For everything in life can be made into a reality and every individual has a story.  However at the end of the day what truly matters is your reality to your story.  Your truth, your understanding, your version of what is.  It is in that version that critics your next move in life.  The next chapter rather to your own story.

Engaging in the Art of Simplicity

Recently conversing with my friend D.C. a lull in the conversation brought up the subject of simplicity.  As I stated that I long for a life of it D.C. retracted, "Simplicity.....What ever does that mean to you?"   Stumped in a momentary pause as my conscious mind rapidly searched the files within my head I tentatively answered.  A mind numbing answer as the realism hit me that I didn't quite know what simple meant to me.  As I look back on that conversation I ask myself, what is simplicity?  Is it truly something that exist or is it simply the euphoria of wanting that which is a created illusion.  As I delve deeper into the troughs on the subject I realize that i'm not as simple as I would like to think.  Simple minded......not quite, simply dressed.....not really, simple living....a want not yet achieved.  Hmmmm this idea of simplicity was becoming more complicated then I would like to admit.  As I sit and ponder this conundrum on this beautiful sun drenched morning my eyes explicitly wander outdoors.  Simplicity!!  Awe yes, is the ability to sit in the morning sun without needing to be anywhere then where I am at this present moment.  It is the enjoyment I find in my morning choice of tea.  It is the sound of the magnificent high pitch squeak made by the dozen or so hummingbirds chasing after their morning nectar.  It is the sense of calm radiating off my body as I gaze at the beauty of my English garden.  It is the pleasantry of bestowing blessings upon the world as I salute each days arrival with sun salutations.  It is the joy of performing daily rituals such as showering or misting myself with one of my favorite perfumes.  It is the sensation of selecting a pair of gorgeous heels and being delighted in the sound as they click against my hardwood floors.  It is the tantalization of a bonfire as the flames lap up the oxygen of the nights sky.  It is the revelation that comes to mind when I slip under my down comforter and exhale a long breath of peace.  Its where I lend myself to as the fall season invades my dreams with the promise of a turn of events.  It is the flow of words that poetically come together as I write this blog.  Yes, I am safe to say that this to me is what floats through my mind when I allow myself to engage in the art of simplicity.  Whats yours??
~M 

Is patience truly a virtue worth seeking

Hurry up and wait appears to be the game selected to be played this month.  Shall we dare say the lesson to be learned is "patience" or perhaps something far different.  As I pour every effort known to man into my beloved fur baby I look to seek answers, signs, messages and body responses to gauge what I am to expect of this particular outcome.  Is his temperature as high as it was yesterday?  Did he consume enough calories?  Am I following the instructions given properly?  Is there any receivable validation available to assure me i'm doing a good job?  The weeks pass by and the exhaustion, fatigue and general low deposition begin to slip in from round the clock feedings, heightened emotions and bodily rejections of my best attempts at success.  The continuous quandary as to, am I doing this for him or for me at this point?  The question plays in my mind like a repetitious tape recorder every time I pace in and out of rooms.  Once upon seeing his frail body peacefully sleeping, another when he begs me for a treat.  As I surrender to that which has outlived it purpose in my life in order to keep that which I cherish most, I begin to falter.  Once again questioning my choices, my answers, my beliefs, my definitions and my purpose.  Something where as in my near past I would never have resorted to.  As the time lapses so does my faith in myself.  Never do I question my faith that we will beat this disease together, but I question my faith in me that I am of stamina to fight this crafty opponent known as death.  As I continuously run Reiki on Halibut I  struggle to see the line where holistic improvement meets modern medical procedure and rely on outside validation to sooth my aching soul.  Once again allowing the universe to play devils advocate.  Improvement in outer doesn't always mean improvement within.  As I admire my beautiful friend with his polished coat, gleaming eyes from weeks of drip IV, vitamins, herbs and high doses of medication I still face the dread of what the future test results will bring.  As I run my hand along his body and intuitive feel the fire beginning to subside within his body.  I listen to the chatter of test results indicating the dreaded "C" word cant be ruled out at this present moment.  Hurry and wait pulsates throughout my mind once more......
~M      

That which ties feline to human

For the last two weeks a roller coaster of emotions has ridden throughout my body.  Restless slumber nights, subdued eating habits and lack luster acknowledgement to thrills swirling around.  When events occur which rock our placid shores it gives us true meaning to our belief systems.  Do we hold up the wall or allow for it to crumbly under the minuet amount of strain?  Do we ostracize ourselves and others in the attempt to create healthy boundaries?  Or do we build fences instead to protect our fear.  For all who know me, you are well aware of my feline companion Sir Francis Aka Halibut as being the love of my life.  I have never known for there to be a bond that can run so deep before I met my cat.  He is truly the greatest gift I have ever received.  He has played an enormous role in my life over the years.  He was my travel companion when I feared driving, was with me when I said, I Do to my husband, decorated my first place with nail, teeth and fur marks, accompanied me on a multitude of Starbucks trips, listen to me when I had a less then spectacular day, slept with me when I didn't want to sleep alone, indulged me by wearing holiday costumes, patiently awaited for me to snap a multitude of pictures of him and licked my forehead when I was feeling under the weather.  Over the last 9 years he has held his place within my heart as being my ember of light.  As he fights on to survive his own illness I take the time to cherish all that i've had, do have and will have with him.  I marvel at his amazing spirit and will to continue on fighting.  I feel honored that such a remarkable little creature has blessed me with so much love and has allowed for me to be such a large part in his life.  "To think that life is short".....has the biggest impact when you risk losing someone you love.
~M

Trusting That Which Isn't Seen

Before I started out blazing my own trail into the spiritual west I used to equate everything with logic.  The term "Miracles" happen to other people who categorized them as such but were in actuality, simply put...events where all the pieces lined up.  If  I couldn't see it, touch it, breathe it, then it didn't exist to me.  As I ponder this naive way of coexisting I realize that the truth I was born with was a fable, rather a .....childhood myth one might say.  The truth I was born with was quickly swept beneath the floor boards and the new realism I redeemed became one in which helped me fit in with the peers around me at that time.  I abandoned myself for the ability to blend in and became throughout the years vanilla in expression.  Only until I shook out that which didn't belong to me did I find the exquisite gold hue peanut left behind which was mine.  Today I say with pride that the peanut is now the size of a grapefruit and still expanding.  That fable has become my foundation for truth.  My realism doesn't rely on the surmount of materialism I own to define me.  My qualifications aren't noticed through my degrees, certifications and licensing to determine if I am capable to achieve.  They are measured by my compassionate heart which one can not physically see, my generosity and my capacity of determination.  As I embark on yet another year ahead of me I realize that I now know me.  I am acquainted with this remarkable person who trust that when the little voice mutters go right I need to make a sharp turn right.  Even though I may not see who the voice is coming from I have learned well enough that if I choose to venture left it is going to be a dry and desolate journey.  One that in the end will deliver me back to right, feeling lethargic, broken and perhaps blocked.  Countless times I hear from my clients how they know they should be doing etc but choose to achieve the opposite instead.  Why is it "ourselves" who block our own path to deliverance?  Why do we feel the need to change the game that is already pathed and given to us?  Why do we trust that which produce hardships but shy away from that which makes our existence just a little easier?  As I approach my magical 33 I have come to realize that forging in the turbulent waters is not for me.  I welcome placid shores, tepid water, and all the support that comes my way.  It's not that I am beyond the point of struggles it is however, that I am able to take the moment needed to rise above just for a second and notice the dip in the road.  Seeing the dip is enough to allow me to brace myself for the pain that may be coming upon impact.  By putting on the seat belt I can engage with it and allow it to pass through me.  This way perhaps allowing none of its painful memories to stick within but allowing the lessons to produce further wisdom.  As you journey through life continue to play.  Listen to your own dual voice.  Love yourself for who you are.  The attributes, the beautiful flaws that show up as attributes in given circumstances and embrace the whole.  As we further venture back into the truth of childhood, we learn that we were born with all the answers to all the questions we will ever need to know.  Yes......My friends it is that EASY!!  All one needs to do is let it be.
~Monique   

Falling In Love With LIFE

Just because one teaches doesn't always mean one makes the best disciplined student.  It has taken me getting sick these past weeks to slow down and listen to my own teachings.  Week after week I find myself teaching meditation but lacking the discipline to practice it.  Week after week I discover myself assisting my clients through the mud but lacking patience to truly acknowledge my own.  With a calmer spirit and a much more open heart i've slowed down the pace.  I took the time for myself and "Fell In Love" with life once more this past week.  I have discovered even though we have a tumultuous love affair going on between us, these ups and downs are significant to my continuous transformation.  This last bout of wills has instilled me with a much greater sense of achievement.  I've taken the plunge and with coughing fit for an elephant my voice has open up to a much softer sound.  In every moment we possess the opportunity to be, create and achieve who it is we want to be.  Each moment we hold the power to live life closer to what our true self expression is.  This moment I have learned that although I love what I do, I love myself equally as much.  Which translates into me taking the desired amount of time to assist my needs, wants and affirmations.  Since making the choice to live a life closure to my true self my lessons have become easier, more enriched and the sense of peace has been profound.  In order to maintain this sense of inner order I must first maintain the spiritual order within me.  Although I have shun discipline this year I have come to see a new vision materializing before me benefiting from the use of it.  Thank you universe for your constant reminder that we are ever growing, changing, evolving beings.
~Monique

"We can't direct the wind but we can adjust our sails"  -Unknown

With Parting Leaves....Patience Can Be Achieved

As a small girl I remember fondly being taught the importance of gardening by my Grandfather.  A avid farmer turned gardener in his later years, he taught me the ways to patience.  How to water the plants with a slow trickle of water instead of a gush.  How to speak to the plants in order to know what it was they needed.  How to spend hours under the canopied leafed trees enjoying the fruits of ones labors.  My Grandfather perched on a green metal military container (once belonging to my Great Grandfather) and myself planted on his lap.  Later on in years when I was able to purchase my first home I wasn't as fortunate to have a beautiful garden.  What came with was a vision of soil and rocks.  I planted my heart and seven years later, what popped up is nothing short of a secret garden.  Lush, green and magical.  With Mother Natures help the jasmin is in full bloom growing outside my office window.  The scent of it's dainty white flowers bellow throughout the air reminding the neighbors and myself included that Spring is upon us.  The purple wisteria lay haven to the bees and butterflies giving me inspiration for my meditations.  The cape code living fences do make for good neighbors!! They not only provide privacy for my Spring and Summer meditation groups hosted, but offer nectar to the multiplies of hummingbirds occupying the garden.  The flower bulbs lucky enough to survive the ravaging of the winter raccoons have bloomed into candy scented beauties.  Just enough for me to create thank you bouquets for my friends.  The jacaranda trees have yet to bless me with a bountiful of purple flowers, but they have instilled a pillar of pride within.  Growing from just seeds they now tower 9 feet high, lending shade to the enriched backyard.  Thanks to mother nature, plant swaps, discount bin plants and my two hands I have created a vision my Grandfather would be proud of.  Oh and that green metal military container.....Now holds its own in my garden giving me a seat to teach my students from.  Even though I have yet to have a small child of my own rest upon my lap, I look forward with the sincerest of heart for the day I can duplicate my memories with him/her.
~Monique

"To forgive or not to forgive"

Every day we are faced with a multitude of decision making.  Should we settle for the non-fat latte or just go for the gold with the Caramel Macchiato.  When we allow ourselves the freedom to do so, we discover along the way that we have choices in these decisions.  But, what happens when we are faced with the decision of forgiveness?  Should we give thought to it or just dive right in?  Is it reasonable to forgive for the sake of just forgiving?  I recently came faced with a figure from my past.  A friend who was the very driving force that derived me to where I am now.  A friend who's lack of acceptance of spiritualism caused me to crave the path even more so.  Nothing like being faced with that speed bump doing 80 down the road of spiritual life a year later.  As much as I would love to think I have evolved from trivial things like, memories of the past.  I found myself at that precise moment full force spiraling down memory lane .  The hurt swelling within my heart like an emotional tornado.  My mind clouded over by the turbulence of conflicting thoughts.  However, instead of logic being the driving force in my life this time, something else took the drivers seat.....My heart.  Powerful, strong and demanding to be heard.  It spoke clearly.  To forgive someone else is to forgive yourself first.  It is a true gift to give when there isn't a reason to.  It is true forgiveness to offer when it isn't expected of you.  It is true love to bestow love when there isn't any return upon it.  As I sat with this I realized that "to forgive or not to forgive" is translated, TO GIVE WITHOUT COMPROMISING ONESELF.  To release from the debauchery, the shackles, the rouse that has weighed you down and to finally set that spirit free.  I walk lighter these days knowing that even though my friend isn't walking along beside me, my forgiveness has given me a brighter vision.
~Monique