For most of us the art of communicating can be a rather intricate dance. That which if forced in any one direction can throw off the delicate balance causing one or both partners to be thrown into a misstep. This year I have geared myself towards helping co-lead others into a more honest and authentic existence with themselves. This co-leading has also been a way to introduce them (as well as myself) to speak openly, honestly and freely from the center within. A beautiful notion, but what happens when communication goes awry? When one persons truth becomes quite different then another's. When perspectives change and both parties are engaged in what they believe is their own set truth? Their honesty. Their given perspective. What then?
Recently I found myself in a situation in which any other time would have lead me to speak a different truth. A truth sounding something like this..."Oh, that's ok. Don't worry about it." Something I have found myself stating far too often in the past. To myself mainly but also to others when I felt conflict was going to win, be more intrusive then the actual ordeal itself, or take too much time to thoroughly explain on my part. This same dialogue would repeat itself in my head for hours, days, even sometimes weeks depending on the scenario. This constant banter within causing myself to become a prisoner of my own self imposed conundrum. I would berate myself later for abandoning myself when I needed myself to be present.
Through quiet observation and some wonderful new tools in my tool box I have learned to better honor the voice within. For better or for worse. Which has resulted in me making some major life changes regarding whom I wish to engage intimately in my life. Friendships are wonderful interactions when they mutual benefit both parties. Far from it when they exhibit manipulation, control and various other attributes beneficial for ones own personal gain. Now lets be honest. As human beings we are agenda based. Even if that agenda is simply to give and receive love from one another.
The gift we posses more then any other is our ability to love and be loving. Even when interactions with others have far surpassed their allotted time in our lives, we have the option to let go with love. To be loving in our words and remain loving within our hearts as time floats by. Is this to say we must withhold our own personal truth in order to be loving? Absolutely not! I do however believe that many times the truth can be said in a way that allows both parties to take from it what they may. Remembering that even the most loving words uttered can be perceived as daggers to a person with a closed heart. When in doubt take the time to observe, reflect and then precede forward when the time calls for it. Some of the wisest people are the quietest. When they speak, their words often have the tendency to be some of the loudest.
As each of us continue to grow and persevere within our own lives we hope to cultivate friendships that will grow along with us. For those who don't, we wish them well as they exit the doors held open for them. Knowing fully they have served us well for the time being. Rather your friendship is 6 months or twenty years goodbyes can often be extremely bittersweet. All part of the symbolism of that wonderful, majestic dance.
~M
No comments:
Post a Comment