The winds of change

As the comfort of once was begins to shift into what is, the journey is not always a rather smooth one.  Try as we might to hold on grasping for the known we get sweeped away in the currents of life.  As we glance back behind us (owning the choice to do so) we reshape and characterize that which we see.  That which we have already lived.  Either for the purpose of positive growth or for the negativity which holds us back and keeps us unaccountable.  For everything in life can be made into a reality and every individual has a story.  However at the end of the day what truly matters is your reality to your story.  Your truth, your understanding, your version of what is.  It is in that version that critics your next move in life.  The next chapter rather to your own story.

Breathe Life Into Me

In taking a short respite from blogging I took the opportunity to entertain myself by rummaging through some of my streamer trunks filled with examples of my older writings.  All those who know me best understand the excitement I relish in when it comes to my artistic flair with words.  It truly is my sanctuary where I have the liberty to fully express and play with the formations that come.  As I start listening more and more to those same friends cheering me on to write a book, I have decided to test the waters with an example of one of my favorite pieces I wrote a few years ago while questioning spirituality......Hard for me to imagine words like this coming from me now at this point in my life.  Little rusty but i'm looking forward to channeling the creative energy once again.  Hope you enjoy the piece as much as I did when I wrote it!!!!!!


My beautiful being.  My perfect illustration of man.  My illicit conquest with your perfect form and adorning eyes.  How I wait for you to fill me with your all knowingness.  Oh how I breathe in the breath of your holiness through the pores of your body.  To be close to you, to smell you, to feel your touch upon my skin is to know God.  How may one ever be normal after one has been graced by the hand of God.  Seen by the eyes of God and known by the servant of God.  Advised by the tongue of God.  To lie in your wakeness is to be consumed by your majestic spiritualism.  I want to lay in your presence for eternity.  To pray to be your devout worshiper.  To give thanks and praise to your magnificent self.  I pay tribute to your beauty and strength of character.

Where did you go when I needed you most as my confidant?  Where were you my blessed being?  Why did you abandon me out of choice when I needed you most.  When I needed you near.  When I needed your touch, your stroke, your embrace.  I cried and you did not come for me this time.  I cried louder and you heard not.  My sacred presence.....Why have you forsaken me?  My perfect spiritual being I have left the door open but you have yet to walk through.  You have abandon me when it was I who should have abandon you. 

Oh great torturer; nomad of the plains.  You have captured my longing heart in years time as well as my famishing sense of pride.  Away with you and bless me with crisp surrenderance instead of ones hau`te arrogance.  Quiet my wandering tempestuous mannerism with one cool eloquent brush of the hand.  Take your turn to dance.  Breathe softness into my form.  Enrich me with your stroke,  Breathe life into me.  Awaken me once again to begin.  Surrender.  Surrender your sword into my heart and let me feel the burn of truth, of judgement  and yes....resurrection.

Glide me across the floor like a bellowing heap, soft mounds reshaping into unfathomable remembrance.  Elude me once more with your truth.  Caste your glance into my eyes and say not, you love me.  Rest your sword and for a moments time, once again I ask.....You share your ensemble wisdom.  Breath life into me.  Paddle my head with chimes of far off adventures, bliss charades of contentment and the bowing of ones innerself.  Ask not for me to risk my soul in order to honor your good name.  Ask not for me to know what song plays the rythmatic melody that teaches me to dance like so.  Ask nothing and yes....Once again I ask for you to breathe life into me.

May I come to know your name.  This nomad on a journey that shall be walked by none other.  May I come to understand the meaning of the trickling elixir spread upon my lips.  May I come not to question the severity of your sword as it pierces my flesh each surviving time and may I ask once again.  As I often do.  Breathe life into me.  Fore without you there will be no sword to my truth.
~M

Open Heart Meditation

As you begin to become aware of your state of breath.  You find yourself following it, allowing the inhale to lead you deep within yourself.  Discovering the rhythm of your heart beat as it patters in procession with the rest of your body.  Feeling the blood being pumped throughout in a silent gushing motion.  Taking this time for yourself, you become aware of the state of your body.  Listening to it for signs or evidence as to whats going on at this particular moment.  As you bring full awareness to the sensations felt within, you begin to release any tension, stress, negativity and begin to ease even further into a state of pure relaxation.  Allowing your mind to peacefully drift and float.  Moving forwards and backwards, you soon find yourself traveling along a path.  This path within nature begins to lead you directly into the middle of the woods.  Surrounded by ancient trees, with their branches heavily laden with a canopy of leaves.  The breeze soft and effortlessly begins to flow through the sky rustling the leaves ever so gently overhead.  You find your eyes glazing up in wonderment and awe.  Noticing the extrinsic detail of the lined bark upon the branches and the coloration of the multitude of finely textured leaves.  Soon you begin following the merriment sound of birds singing in the near distance, as their wings allow for their bodies to float and glide from branch to branch without difficulty.  Breathing in the air that surrounds, you become fully aware of the scents that fill your lungs.  Allowing for their detection to uncover memories from within your heart.  Times long ago once again claim their space within the forefront of your mind.  A gift from within pushing its way to be remembered once more.  As you ease into the sensations surrounding your body giving yourself the time needed to engage in these thoughts and feelings.  Honoring yourself, as well as your body by uncovering fully that which lies within you.  The comforting breeze of mother nature coaxes you gently through the process as she nudges you forward along the trail like a mothers hand pressed lovingly against your lower back.  You do not fight her but rather willingly allow for her to lead you into a beautiful clearing filled with love.  Silently you slump onto the ground allowing for the earth to embrace your body with her sweet caress and allow yourself to have an experience.  As she closes off your senses to the outside world, your eyes close momentarily and all you see before you is that which lies within you.  You begin traveling through the corridors of your inner self.  Allowing for the light within to lead you through the catacomb of life's experiences.  A knowingness within supplies you with the foresight of how to navigate such tunnels and with agility you weave your way through.  Captivated by the information which appears before you in the form of images, words, or perhaps sense.  You embrace this knowledge which is you with love and acceptance and allow for the wholeness it provides to be reacquainted with the rest of your memories. 

Soon you stand before a door.        

To Be Continued.........            

Engaging in the Art of Simplicity

Recently conversing with my friend D.C. a lull in the conversation brought up the subject of simplicity.  As I stated that I long for a life of it D.C. retracted, "Simplicity.....What ever does that mean to you?"   Stumped in a momentary pause as my conscious mind rapidly searched the files within my head I tentatively answered.  A mind numbing answer as the realism hit me that I didn't quite know what simple meant to me.  As I look back on that conversation I ask myself, what is simplicity?  Is it truly something that exist or is it simply the euphoria of wanting that which is a created illusion.  As I delve deeper into the troughs on the subject I realize that i'm not as simple as I would like to think.  Simple minded......not quite, simply dressed.....not really, simple living....a want not yet achieved.  Hmmmm this idea of simplicity was becoming more complicated then I would like to admit.  As I sit and ponder this conundrum on this beautiful sun drenched morning my eyes explicitly wander outdoors.  Simplicity!!  Awe yes, is the ability to sit in the morning sun without needing to be anywhere then where I am at this present moment.  It is the enjoyment I find in my morning choice of tea.  It is the sound of the magnificent high pitch squeak made by the dozen or so hummingbirds chasing after their morning nectar.  It is the sense of calm radiating off my body as I gaze at the beauty of my English garden.  It is the pleasantry of bestowing blessings upon the world as I salute each days arrival with sun salutations.  It is the joy of performing daily rituals such as showering or misting myself with one of my favorite perfumes.  It is the sensation of selecting a pair of gorgeous heels and being delighted in the sound as they click against my hardwood floors.  It is the tantalization of a bonfire as the flames lap up the oxygen of the nights sky.  It is the revelation that comes to mind when I slip under my down comforter and exhale a long breath of peace.  Its where I lend myself to as the fall season invades my dreams with the promise of a turn of events.  It is the flow of words that poetically come together as I write this blog.  Yes, I am safe to say that this to me is what floats through my mind when I allow myself to engage in the art of simplicity.  Whats yours??
~M 

Is patience truly a virtue worth seeking

Hurry up and wait appears to be the game selected to be played this month.  Shall we dare say the lesson to be learned is "patience" or perhaps something far different.  As I pour every effort known to man into my beloved fur baby I look to seek answers, signs, messages and body responses to gauge what I am to expect of this particular outcome.  Is his temperature as high as it was yesterday?  Did he consume enough calories?  Am I following the instructions given properly?  Is there any receivable validation available to assure me i'm doing a good job?  The weeks pass by and the exhaustion, fatigue and general low deposition begin to slip in from round the clock feedings, heightened emotions and bodily rejections of my best attempts at success.  The continuous quandary as to, am I doing this for him or for me at this point?  The question plays in my mind like a repetitious tape recorder every time I pace in and out of rooms.  Once upon seeing his frail body peacefully sleeping, another when he begs me for a treat.  As I surrender to that which has outlived it purpose in my life in order to keep that which I cherish most, I begin to falter.  Once again questioning my choices, my answers, my beliefs, my definitions and my purpose.  Something where as in my near past I would never have resorted to.  As the time lapses so does my faith in myself.  Never do I question my faith that we will beat this disease together, but I question my faith in me that I am of stamina to fight this crafty opponent known as death.  As I continuously run Reiki on Halibut I  struggle to see the line where holistic improvement meets modern medical procedure and rely on outside validation to sooth my aching soul.  Once again allowing the universe to play devils advocate.  Improvement in outer doesn't always mean improvement within.  As I admire my beautiful friend with his polished coat, gleaming eyes from weeks of drip IV, vitamins, herbs and high doses of medication I still face the dread of what the future test results will bring.  As I run my hand along his body and intuitive feel the fire beginning to subside within his body.  I listen to the chatter of test results indicating the dreaded "C" word cant be ruled out at this present moment.  Hurry and wait pulsates throughout my mind once more......
~M      

That which ties feline to human

For the last two weeks a roller coaster of emotions has ridden throughout my body.  Restless slumber nights, subdued eating habits and lack luster acknowledgement to thrills swirling around.  When events occur which rock our placid shores it gives us true meaning to our belief systems.  Do we hold up the wall or allow for it to crumbly under the minuet amount of strain?  Do we ostracize ourselves and others in the attempt to create healthy boundaries?  Or do we build fences instead to protect our fear.  For all who know me, you are well aware of my feline companion Sir Francis Aka Halibut as being the love of my life.  I have never known for there to be a bond that can run so deep before I met my cat.  He is truly the greatest gift I have ever received.  He has played an enormous role in my life over the years.  He was my travel companion when I feared driving, was with me when I said, I Do to my husband, decorated my first place with nail, teeth and fur marks, accompanied me on a multitude of Starbucks trips, listen to me when I had a less then spectacular day, slept with me when I didn't want to sleep alone, indulged me by wearing holiday costumes, patiently awaited for me to snap a multitude of pictures of him and licked my forehead when I was feeling under the weather.  Over the last 9 years he has held his place within my heart as being my ember of light.  As he fights on to survive his own illness I take the time to cherish all that i've had, do have and will have with him.  I marvel at his amazing spirit and will to continue on fighting.  I feel honored that such a remarkable little creature has blessed me with so much love and has allowed for me to be such a large part in his life.  "To think that life is short".....has the biggest impact when you risk losing someone you love.
~M

For The Love Of An Animal

I'm Back!!!!  Its been a few months of challenges, transformation and transitions....But once again I have emerged a stronger person then I once was.  Traveling down a path to enlightenment isn't always the easiest.  It isn't always the most rewarding and many of times it is difficult to see where the light shinning will guide you when you are blinded by the pain within your heart.  We try our best to be the spiritual beings that we seek to become.  Without fault we find fault within our seeking and learn a new course altogether.  With love and passion we seek to do phenomenal things with us defining what phenomenal is.  Rather it be holding the door open for a stranger or buying groceries for the less fortunate.  Or perhaps in my particular case phenomenal concludes saving a dog from her end at the shelter and her being my armor of courage.  We wish for fairytale endings and forever interludes.  However, sometimes, some of us end up with "for the time being".  Short periods in which we learn something grand from remarkable beings about ourselves and what are limits are.  Sometimes these beings dispel our fears and allow us to see what really lies within our hearts.  Thanks to my beloved fur babies I have found the courage to love the many faceted sides of me and to truly see how much motherhood lies within my own heart.  As much as I would love to keep some of them by my side always, they too have a journey of their own and a purpose in their hearts.  As I learn to let go, release attachment and move forward without judgement I further grow as an enlightened being one step closer to my own truth.