Last year I found myself spending a good amount of the year sick. Was it karma that finally bite me in the arse you ask? Lessons that needed to be learned? Just a day in the life and times of life? Honestly I haven't a clue! I could sit and pontificate the meaning for another year, but what would be the fun in that? What I did discover however, amongst many things...was this. FREEDOM!
That's right. FREEDOM.
I learned personal freedom to just be as I was in the present moment. It's absolutely mesmerizing how all the meditation, yoga and spiritual seeking could not bring me into focus the way pain could. Nor get me to fess up the complete truth about myself. Now when I speak of truth, I know...I know your all thinking here we go. The introspection speech. Not even close my friends. The truth I speak of is the truth of who we are presently. Not what we share on FB or to our acquaintances. Not the pics we post that are only 2 out of the 150 we take and then proclaim to be naturally photogenic. Nope, i'm speaking of the truth that is us today. The stripped down, naked truth that we shudder about. I bet reading that just now you were able to think of 5 truths about yourself without even thinking. I know I just did! If you did think there could be possibly hundreds hidden in your inner depths. The difference is now that I have found real personal freedom, I no longer need to be a hoarder of truths. Believe me when I say, I used to be able to hoard with the best of them.
So how did I found this nugget of truth and create a disappearing act involving some of my luggage? Well, part was choice and the rest was simply having to go with the flow. Getting sick wasn't necessarily a choice but it was a choice I was a part of. For years I took less then optimally care of myself. I avoided going to the doctor regularly. Took it upon myself to heal naturally. Mind you without success. I spoke to myself consistently about how I hated the doctors, hated needles, hated to be touched by strangers, hated germs and etc. Hated the possibility to have to strip down naked in front of strangers in order to have whatever possibly checked. When I say I spoke to myself this way.....I mean I truly spoke to myself this way. The hatred being not only the word used but also the feeling behind the verbiage. So, what happened? All of it that I hated!! I was touched by so many strange hands I would have thought I was up for sale in a consignment shop. Needles and giving blood became a comedy skit between myself and the nurses. Who would have thought I could be sooooo funny? Certainly not me! Drugs (legal of course) I welcomed. The cellulite on my thighs/butt became public knowledge to more then just my intimate and right now it has become even more so. Yes that's right! I have cellulite that neither running nor cellulite cream seems to erase. May my inner light shine bright! During those doctor visits I learned to strip down faster then those you see in a porno and the best part....I learned not to blush while doing it. Or judge my chipped nail polished toes resting on that germ ridden, cold, grey floor tile becauseeeeee the best part was; I wasn't looking down. Yep....I am horrible at getting regular pedicures and you know what? May my inner light shine bright.
This year my BFF got me involved in a job that paid wonderfully well. I had the opportunity to attend the tech convention in Las Vegas. For the technology loving, super nerdy, staying update with the ins and out individual this was a dream come true! For me not so much. I am not tech savy by any means. I barely know how to turn on my computer and that's only because there is a word that says "Start"...Ha ha made you laugh. Ok...Ok...I'm not that tech ignorant but I am damn close. But guess what? May my inner light shine bright. I went, I did, I stressed, I made mistakes (smiling works), I succeeded, I stepped out of my comfort zone and paid off a huge medical bill. My light still shined bright throughout even if it vibrated from the anxiety I had.
The point is. We all have fears, hidden neurosis, things we are embarrassed about, ashamed of, confused on and just plain timid revealing. However, do any of those things mean anything? More importantly do they mean anything to you? Many times the things we find fault, fear or shame in are not our perceptions. They are others perceptions. We take on what other peoples judgements are and find truth in them. Equating many times for us to find fault within ourselves. Its easy to say to never allow someone else to dim your light. But more times then not it is us who dim our own light as a means and way to fit in. There is truth found within many inspirational quotes about being weird, being off, being abnormal and finding love in it. It's because if we (the masses) allow our lights to shine bright. Our fear of "what if" begin to fall away. If we banned together in our weirdness then we could all brightly shine and light up the night sky on those really dark periods in our lives.
May you find many grammatical errors in this blog and may my inner light continue to shine bright ,)
~M
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
Thursday, September 12, 2013
The Cracked Pot
Recently I was going through some emails and came upon this one in particular. A firm believer that there "are no accidents" I was bemused that this discovery should appear at this perfect time in my life. Having gone through a fair amount of health related issues this year as well as battle through a few personal trials to boot. I have had quite the amount of time to ponder some of the nuances of life. Something to the effect of what role do I play in society, what are my flaws, how do I learn to love these named flaws and see them as an assets, etc, etc. Enjoy the email below. Im sure many of you will get something out of it. Most of all be kind, be gentle and have love for your flawed self.
~M
~M
The Cracked Pot
An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole, which she carried across her neck.
One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water.
At the end of the long walks from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.
For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water.
Of course , the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments.
But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do.
After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream
'I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house.'
The old woman smiled and said; "Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side?"
That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them.'
'For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table.
Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house.'
Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding.
You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them.
SO, to all of my crackpot friends, have a great day and remember to smell the flowers on your side of the path!
One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water.
At the end of the long walks from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.
For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water.
Of course , the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments.
But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do.
After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream
'I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house.'
The old woman smiled and said; "Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side?"
That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them.'
'For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table.
Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house.'
Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding.
You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them.
SO, to all of my crackpot friends, have a great day and remember to smell the flowers on your side of the path!
Some people change their ways when they see the light, others when they feel the heat. ~Caroline Schoeder
Thursday, June 6, 2013
Judgements and Perceptions create Chasms
Recently my last post raised quite the controversy as to how I was currently living my life. Accused of opting out because I spoke of the release of tired goods and succumbing to high fashion, things that were considered nonspiritual in nature by particular individuals. I relish in what people have to bring to the table, their individualistic perception of "what is" in said matters. This particular diatribe however, had me thinking about a life event currently occurring in another category of my life. That which was forming right next store at my neighbors house. For some who know me well know that I live in a historic district. A beautiful little well kept neighborhood of beings ranging in the average age of 50+. Retired, vacation homes in Europe and pleasantly quaint to converse with. But with that perfect setup comes also the unexpected. As they say, "there is always that house" and yes I happen to live next to it. You know the one. The black sheep of the neighborhood with the dying grass and the peeling paint. Not being much for conflict or confrontation I have always been more then cordial. As the other neighbors called the city to have this house cited for trash cans left out pass their time allowance, overgrown vegetation and parked cars left on the street; I carried on minding my matters.
Recently they inherited some family members of theirs experiencing hard times. These financial hard times has made for the family members to take to living out of their car. As these neighbors slept tucked in peaceful slumber in their warm house their offspring slept cramped in the confines of their car. Finally pushed beyond my own set limits I became irate. Mostly because I was embarrassed to have this unsightly display demonstrated before me. Losing all compassion of what these individuals must be experiencing I ranted and raved over what I had to experience. But what did I have to experience? Truly nothing. It was I who was having the problem with this demonstration of truth before me. It was I who's eyes looked at this situation as something that was being done to me. It was I who felt that I had been wronged in some way as I watched these individuals wake up each morning pulling articles out of their suitcase in order to prepare for the day. It was also I who could not understand what it would feel like to experience such set circumstances. Or to have family who wouldn't take me in if I was in a bind. No I couldn't understand because I have never been without. Nor in such a dire situation where I didn't have emotional, financial or physical help standing behind me. I fortunately have been blessed beyond belief. Even when hard times were trying, I always had the support of family, community and friends.
This recent week I finally made the conscious decision to call the police after giving this couple 2 weeks to improve their circumstances. As I planned for this past Wednesday to be the deadline, I woke up to see that not only was this couple living in the confines of their car but so were their two small children. Children who ran around the yard with glorious smiles on their faces everyday. Children who were clean, fed and hair perfectly maintained. I paused as I watched them in their pj's dragging their baby blankets up to the neighbors house this particular morning. In that exact moment I broke down and cried. I cried for them. I cried for the selfishness that I was feeling within my heart. I cried that it took me wanting to help others to go outside of my own neighborhood in order to build a foundation only to have those in need living beside me. I cried that here I was worried about what people thought of me, when these individuals were just focusing on surviving. I cried more then anything that I never looked to see before this particular day that there were children living in the car.
So rather it be right, wrong or indifferent I decided not to call. Not to have this families circumstance become hindered more then it already was by my complicated hands. I chose that although the site is unfavorable to watch, I would rather see them all together then pulled apart. I have changed my perception and now instead of waking up each morning annoyed, I bask in the glow of the youth who greet me by my car before I leave for my morning run. I may not have children but to experience the wonders through child eyes is a remarkable blessing. Their innocence and youth of spirit is overwhelming. Their gentleness and sharing nature is pure perfection. It is us who become jaded by the social norms of what is, should be's and worldly pressures. It is us who make the simple complicated and the gentle rigid.
Spiritualism isn't about being perfect in every set situation and circumstance. Its about seeing and embracing when you are perfectly flawed. Its about seeing the balance of the light as well as the dark and making allowances for it. It is about understanding yourself better for who you are, where you are and where you want to be. It is about allowing and accepting. Most importantly allowing and accepting those judgements you caste against yourself.
~M
Recently they inherited some family members of theirs experiencing hard times. These financial hard times has made for the family members to take to living out of their car. As these neighbors slept tucked in peaceful slumber in their warm house their offspring slept cramped in the confines of their car. Finally pushed beyond my own set limits I became irate. Mostly because I was embarrassed to have this unsightly display demonstrated before me. Losing all compassion of what these individuals must be experiencing I ranted and raved over what I had to experience. But what did I have to experience? Truly nothing. It was I who was having the problem with this demonstration of truth before me. It was I who's eyes looked at this situation as something that was being done to me. It was I who felt that I had been wronged in some way as I watched these individuals wake up each morning pulling articles out of their suitcase in order to prepare for the day. It was also I who could not understand what it would feel like to experience such set circumstances. Or to have family who wouldn't take me in if I was in a bind. No I couldn't understand because I have never been without. Nor in such a dire situation where I didn't have emotional, financial or physical help standing behind me. I fortunately have been blessed beyond belief. Even when hard times were trying, I always had the support of family, community and friends.
This recent week I finally made the conscious decision to call the police after giving this couple 2 weeks to improve their circumstances. As I planned for this past Wednesday to be the deadline, I woke up to see that not only was this couple living in the confines of their car but so were their two small children. Children who ran around the yard with glorious smiles on their faces everyday. Children who were clean, fed and hair perfectly maintained. I paused as I watched them in their pj's dragging their baby blankets up to the neighbors house this particular morning. In that exact moment I broke down and cried. I cried for them. I cried for the selfishness that I was feeling within my heart. I cried that it took me wanting to help others to go outside of my own neighborhood in order to build a foundation only to have those in need living beside me. I cried that here I was worried about what people thought of me, when these individuals were just focusing on surviving. I cried more then anything that I never looked to see before this particular day that there were children living in the car.
So rather it be right, wrong or indifferent I decided not to call. Not to have this families circumstance become hindered more then it already was by my complicated hands. I chose that although the site is unfavorable to watch, I would rather see them all together then pulled apart. I have changed my perception and now instead of waking up each morning annoyed, I bask in the glow of the youth who greet me by my car before I leave for my morning run. I may not have children but to experience the wonders through child eyes is a remarkable blessing. Their innocence and youth of spirit is overwhelming. Their gentleness and sharing nature is pure perfection. It is us who become jaded by the social norms of what is, should be's and worldly pressures. It is us who make the simple complicated and the gentle rigid.
Spiritualism isn't about being perfect in every set situation and circumstance. Its about seeing and embracing when you are perfectly flawed. Its about seeing the balance of the light as well as the dark and making allowances for it. It is about understanding yourself better for who you are, where you are and where you want to be. It is about allowing and accepting. Most importantly allowing and accepting those judgements you caste against yourself.
~M
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Everything I Now Know, I Have Learned While Hoodwilling
Last year my best friend introduced me to a life I never knew existed previously. A life full of surplus, excitement and profound knowledge. Now where on earth has all this wealth of information come from, you might ask? No where other then the Goodwill. Or according to my IPhone's crafty auto-correct....The Hoodwill. Pretentious I am not, expressive I most certainly am. Upon donating a large extent of my wardrobe in order to "start fresh" I was left in a space to recreate what I wanted in my life. Having a love for my own style and flair which has taken me years to cultivate I was far from embracing the latest trends in the mainstream popular stores. Thanks to R.B not only did I get to spend girl time with my friend but I also got turned onto a world vastly different then that which I was living. So you may be asking, how does this apply to Spiritualism? Each book ever written on Spiritualism is written with life principles in mind. To simply read said principles does nothing. Its the course of applying them where the magic occurs.
Principle One...Surplus.
I have come to realize that the world is made up of an endless supply of surplus. There is never a need that can not be filled or a willing participnat not looking to fill a need. With this in mind there is NEVER a reason to think that one will not get what one needs. Many times I hear clients comment on how they will die if their job ends, if there relationship fails, if the home they want doesn't come through, if the coveted material tangible is not within their possession. I can assure time and time again that....death will not occur due to some exterior belief. However, believing that happiness is based entirely on one said person, event or item is a very limited way of thinking. Hasn't enough words of wisdom been produced for society to know that as one door closes another one opens.
Well the same thing applies to shopping. Just because the person before you bought the most stellar pair of Louis Vuitton heels in your precise size is not to say that a more spectacular pair will not be found later on. Ones meant just for you and your deformed middle toe. There is always a better relationship to replace the one which you had. A home with a layout better fitted to your current lifestyle. A vehicle at a cheaper price, with more options than the one that recently "Got Away". Remember it all comes down to belief. To believe there is always more will bring more. To believe there is lack will produce just that. It's the Law of Effect. So be conscious the next time you find yourself choosing to be disappointed.
Principle Two...The writing is ALWAYS on the wall.
Take things for face value first. If it has a smudge, stain, tear, etc acknowledge it and then decide.
Is it worth dealing with even though the image is not perfect? How much work will it take to get it just so? I found a gorgeous dress that was in a chiffon silk with overlayed black lace. Very classic late 30's elegance. It was also sizes too large for me. Although I loved it and envisioned myself prancing around in it, I needed to be honest first. The alterations would cost a fortune and what I loved about the dress may not be the same things that I would love after it was altered. I choose to let it go and surprisingly enough I found one similar months later in the correct size.
These same principles apply to life when associating with others. People will ALWAYS show you who they are if you care to listen. Its not people persay who lie but rather our own individual egos that do. Pay attention! To what is said, not said and gestured your way. You can save yourself time, money and emotions when evaluating the circumstances in an open, honesty way. In the end if a conscious choice is made to take on a project by all means remember to put your best foot forward.
Principle Three....HONESTY
Being honesty starts with YOU. One needs to know themselves before they can begin to know another.
This applies to shopping as well. Each individual person has their own individual style. A way of expressing their inner being. What will look truly stunning on one person does not always look the same on another. Know this and be true to it. The more you do so the more that truth spills out into all areas of your life, not just clothes. I know that I am a person for vintage, elegance, feminine and material. If it sparkles, gleams, sways and evokes some sort of passion within me I swoon. I also have to LOVE it in order to buy it. I have also learned that borrowing upon someone elses style tends to wind up with me donating it back.
Be true to you and you will always be true. Look to the world to lend inspiration to you but be realistic in your wants, dreams, hopes, desires and how you curate them into your space. Living a life of integrity is your own sole choice and only you know what a life like that looks like. Get clear, precise and be mindful when executing all which does not define you or your lifestyle. In the beginning it might take a little elbow grease on your part but soon you will be coasting with a fresher more authentic vision for yourself. Happy Sailing!!
Principle Four...Traits YOU define to live by
What is it that you are seeking? What traits do you choose to live by? To apply to your life?
When I started out shopping I knew that I was looking for pieces that were timeless, feminine, tailored and organic. Organic to me is silk. I love the way it fits, contours and lays against my skin. Nothing else suffice for me. I know what I want and I believe that I am worthy of my wants. Even if they take years to transpire. R.B however has been very clear that she wants comfortable. Above all else if a garment isn't comfortable to wear or needs an assembly to put on then its gone. We have paired up to hold each other to these defined truths when we find ourselves straying.
These traits have also come to play in other areas as well. My feelings are what I borrow from many a times to navigate with clients, friendships and over all decisions regarding life. Rather it be intuition that does the leading or enough experiences lived to see the red flags i'm unsure. I am sure that if it doesn't feel right then 95% of the time it is not. That gut feeling has saved myself time and time again from countless detriments and I listen to it when a garment fits too tightly around it as well. I personally am unwilling to suffer for fashion or for anything that places my "gut" at a dis-ease.
Principle Five...When in DOUBT sit back and RELAX
When I first started shopping the Hoodwill I found things that I was unsure of but would buy anyways. Only to get them home, decide that I really did not like them and end up donating them back. After more then a few times of doing this I started listening to my inner voice. If I found myself pausing on a said item then I would simply walk away from it. I made a new agreement with myself that I HAD to LOVE it in order for it to find a home with me. Otherwise it was just simply stuff. Filler in my life which later translated into clutter.
We are all aware of clutter. Clutter of possessions, leads to clutter of the mind, which later can transmute into clutter of emotions. I have received the clean out clutter card from my counseling deck enough times to know that it is frivolous to hold on to stuff just for the sake of. Now take old ways of thinking and you are left with a outdated, outlived, outlook on life. Just like closets...Each of us need a Life Review every now and then. A quick or in depth glance over to see if all that is kept inside is truly ours. Now and then you may find a shirt given as a gift by a friend that you have never worn, or a belief that was never yours to begin with. Toss it, release from it, work through it and then move on. There are things out there that will fit your life better I guarantee it.
~M
Principle One...Surplus.
I have come to realize that the world is made up of an endless supply of surplus. There is never a need that can not be filled or a willing participnat not looking to fill a need. With this in mind there is NEVER a reason to think that one will not get what one needs. Many times I hear clients comment on how they will die if their job ends, if there relationship fails, if the home they want doesn't come through, if the coveted material tangible is not within their possession. I can assure time and time again that....death will not occur due to some exterior belief. However, believing that happiness is based entirely on one said person, event or item is a very limited way of thinking. Hasn't enough words of wisdom been produced for society to know that as one door closes another one opens.
Well the same thing applies to shopping. Just because the person before you bought the most stellar pair of Louis Vuitton heels in your precise size is not to say that a more spectacular pair will not be found later on. Ones meant just for you and your deformed middle toe. There is always a better relationship to replace the one which you had. A home with a layout better fitted to your current lifestyle. A vehicle at a cheaper price, with more options than the one that recently "Got Away". Remember it all comes down to belief. To believe there is always more will bring more. To believe there is lack will produce just that. It's the Law of Effect. So be conscious the next time you find yourself choosing to be disappointed.
Principle Two...The writing is ALWAYS on the wall.
Take things for face value first. If it has a smudge, stain, tear, etc acknowledge it and then decide.
Is it worth dealing with even though the image is not perfect? How much work will it take to get it just so? I found a gorgeous dress that was in a chiffon silk with overlayed black lace. Very classic late 30's elegance. It was also sizes too large for me. Although I loved it and envisioned myself prancing around in it, I needed to be honest first. The alterations would cost a fortune and what I loved about the dress may not be the same things that I would love after it was altered. I choose to let it go and surprisingly enough I found one similar months later in the correct size.
These same principles apply to life when associating with others. People will ALWAYS show you who they are if you care to listen. Its not people persay who lie but rather our own individual egos that do. Pay attention! To what is said, not said and gestured your way. You can save yourself time, money and emotions when evaluating the circumstances in an open, honesty way. In the end if a conscious choice is made to take on a project by all means remember to put your best foot forward.
Principle Three....HONESTY
Being honesty starts with YOU. One needs to know themselves before they can begin to know another.
This applies to shopping as well. Each individual person has their own individual style. A way of expressing their inner being. What will look truly stunning on one person does not always look the same on another. Know this and be true to it. The more you do so the more that truth spills out into all areas of your life, not just clothes. I know that I am a person for vintage, elegance, feminine and material. If it sparkles, gleams, sways and evokes some sort of passion within me I swoon. I also have to LOVE it in order to buy it. I have also learned that borrowing upon someone elses style tends to wind up with me donating it back.
Be true to you and you will always be true. Look to the world to lend inspiration to you but be realistic in your wants, dreams, hopes, desires and how you curate them into your space. Living a life of integrity is your own sole choice and only you know what a life like that looks like. Get clear, precise and be mindful when executing all which does not define you or your lifestyle. In the beginning it might take a little elbow grease on your part but soon you will be coasting with a fresher more authentic vision for yourself. Happy Sailing!!
Principle Four...Traits YOU define to live by
What is it that you are seeking? What traits do you choose to live by? To apply to your life?
When I started out shopping I knew that I was looking for pieces that were timeless, feminine, tailored and organic. Organic to me is silk. I love the way it fits, contours and lays against my skin. Nothing else suffice for me. I know what I want and I believe that I am worthy of my wants. Even if they take years to transpire. R.B however has been very clear that she wants comfortable. Above all else if a garment isn't comfortable to wear or needs an assembly to put on then its gone. We have paired up to hold each other to these defined truths when we find ourselves straying.
These traits have also come to play in other areas as well. My feelings are what I borrow from many a times to navigate with clients, friendships and over all decisions regarding life. Rather it be intuition that does the leading or enough experiences lived to see the red flags i'm unsure. I am sure that if it doesn't feel right then 95% of the time it is not. That gut feeling has saved myself time and time again from countless detriments and I listen to it when a garment fits too tightly around it as well. I personally am unwilling to suffer for fashion or for anything that places my "gut" at a dis-ease.
Principle Five...When in DOUBT sit back and RELAX
When I first started shopping the Hoodwill I found things that I was unsure of but would buy anyways. Only to get them home, decide that I really did not like them and end up donating them back. After more then a few times of doing this I started listening to my inner voice. If I found myself pausing on a said item then I would simply walk away from it. I made a new agreement with myself that I HAD to LOVE it in order for it to find a home with me. Otherwise it was just simply stuff. Filler in my life which later translated into clutter.
We are all aware of clutter. Clutter of possessions, leads to clutter of the mind, which later can transmute into clutter of emotions. I have received the clean out clutter card from my counseling deck enough times to know that it is frivolous to hold on to stuff just for the sake of. Now take old ways of thinking and you are left with a outdated, outlived, outlook on life. Just like closets...Each of us need a Life Review every now and then. A quick or in depth glance over to see if all that is kept inside is truly ours. Now and then you may find a shirt given as a gift by a friend that you have never worn, or a belief that was never yours to begin with. Toss it, release from it, work through it and then move on. There are things out there that will fit your life better I guarantee it.
~M
Sunday, June 2, 2013
Indulging Ones Inner Self
In this modern expulse called life, many of us find ourselves limited on time and energy in order to create the desired tasks that swell within ones head. Visions of childhood fantasies and laughter can bring much joy to ones soul. Those few precarious minutes of time alone from the wars of life is all many of us ask for. A peaceful moment to allow our minds to drift to far away places where our imagination knows no bonds. Of course many of us are adults altering our lifestyle to that which we feel is appropriate for our given circumstantial age and removing the lustrous sheen off of the fairytale dreams. Remembering back to a childhood full of innocence and adventure, we sigh with hope that one day we will get the imagination as well as the courage to fulfill those fantasies again. Rather it be to create a work of art that will make people swoon with inspiration or to travel to distant lands and surrender to the romance of castles and gold threading.
Thursday, May 23, 2013
How to Break Up and Break Out of a Friendship
For most of us the art of communicating can be a rather intricate dance. That which if forced in any one direction can throw off the delicate balance causing one or both partners to be thrown into a misstep. This year I have geared myself towards helping co-lead others into a more honest and authentic existence with themselves. This co-leading has also been a way to introduce them (as well as myself) to speak openly, honestly and freely from the center within. A beautiful notion, but what happens when communication goes awry? When one persons truth becomes quite different then another's. When perspectives change and both parties are engaged in what they believe is their own set truth? Their honesty. Their given perspective. What then?
Recently I found myself in a situation in which any other time would have lead me to speak a different truth. A truth sounding something like this..."Oh, that's ok. Don't worry about it." Something I have found myself stating far too often in the past. To myself mainly but also to others when I felt conflict was going to win, be more intrusive then the actual ordeal itself, or take too much time to thoroughly explain on my part. This same dialogue would repeat itself in my head for hours, days, even sometimes weeks depending on the scenario. This constant banter within causing myself to become a prisoner of my own self imposed conundrum. I would berate myself later for abandoning myself when I needed myself to be present.
Through quiet observation and some wonderful new tools in my tool box I have learned to better honor the voice within. For better or for worse. Which has resulted in me making some major life changes regarding whom I wish to engage intimately in my life. Friendships are wonderful interactions when they mutual benefit both parties. Far from it when they exhibit manipulation, control and various other attributes beneficial for ones own personal gain. Now lets be honest. As human beings we are agenda based. Even if that agenda is simply to give and receive love from one another.
The gift we posses more then any other is our ability to love and be loving. Even when interactions with others have far surpassed their allotted time in our lives, we have the option to let go with love. To be loving in our words and remain loving within our hearts as time floats by. Is this to say we must withhold our own personal truth in order to be loving? Absolutely not! I do however believe that many times the truth can be said in a way that allows both parties to take from it what they may. Remembering that even the most loving words uttered can be perceived as daggers to a person with a closed heart. When in doubt take the time to observe, reflect and then precede forward when the time calls for it. Some of the wisest people are the quietest. When they speak, their words often have the tendency to be some of the loudest.
As each of us continue to grow and persevere within our own lives we hope to cultivate friendships that will grow along with us. For those who don't, we wish them well as they exit the doors held open for them. Knowing fully they have served us well for the time being. Rather your friendship is 6 months or twenty years goodbyes can often be extremely bittersweet. All part of the symbolism of that wonderful, majestic dance.
~M
Recently I found myself in a situation in which any other time would have lead me to speak a different truth. A truth sounding something like this..."Oh, that's ok. Don't worry about it." Something I have found myself stating far too often in the past. To myself mainly but also to others when I felt conflict was going to win, be more intrusive then the actual ordeal itself, or take too much time to thoroughly explain on my part. This same dialogue would repeat itself in my head for hours, days, even sometimes weeks depending on the scenario. This constant banter within causing myself to become a prisoner of my own self imposed conundrum. I would berate myself later for abandoning myself when I needed myself to be present.
Through quiet observation and some wonderful new tools in my tool box I have learned to better honor the voice within. For better or for worse. Which has resulted in me making some major life changes regarding whom I wish to engage intimately in my life. Friendships are wonderful interactions when they mutual benefit both parties. Far from it when they exhibit manipulation, control and various other attributes beneficial for ones own personal gain. Now lets be honest. As human beings we are agenda based. Even if that agenda is simply to give and receive love from one another.
The gift we posses more then any other is our ability to love and be loving. Even when interactions with others have far surpassed their allotted time in our lives, we have the option to let go with love. To be loving in our words and remain loving within our hearts as time floats by. Is this to say we must withhold our own personal truth in order to be loving? Absolutely not! I do however believe that many times the truth can be said in a way that allows both parties to take from it what they may. Remembering that even the most loving words uttered can be perceived as daggers to a person with a closed heart. When in doubt take the time to observe, reflect and then precede forward when the time calls for it. Some of the wisest people are the quietest. When they speak, their words often have the tendency to be some of the loudest.
As each of us continue to grow and persevere within our own lives we hope to cultivate friendships that will grow along with us. For those who don't, we wish them well as they exit the doors held open for them. Knowing fully they have served us well for the time being. Rather your friendship is 6 months or twenty years goodbyes can often be extremely bittersweet. All part of the symbolism of that wonderful, majestic dance.
~M
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Becoming That Girl
When I was younger I used to dream living a life full of adventure and discovery. Being an avid reader helped me create quite the imagination. One where I would travel to far off lands in search of treasures and experiences. I would envision myself much braver then the timid youth sprawled out amongst the grass daydreaming away. In these dreams I was independent, fearless and conquering. As with most of us life happens, adulthood takes hold and the need to be practical takes ownership of our lives. But for the fortunate some and the haphazard few who fight the trend they create for themselves a repertoire that one could only wish for. As the years quickly passed by I found my contentment in others. Hearing their stories of a life lived that I could only wish for but knew full well I would never allow myself to lead. I would fall into their rhymatic trance as they described in full detail far away places and soul quenching yearnings put to rest after pursuing such trips. I would always leave thinking to myself, One Day! One day that will be me who will take the leap of faith.
What I came to realize over the course of these last few months is this. One day doesn't ever come around unless one creates a reason for it to do so. Unless one chooses to walk on a different side of the street or consciously avoid the hole which leads to the same limited thinking. "Becoming That Girl" doesn't occur over night nor with the same goal minded mentality used previously. Upon finishing up Anna David's book Falling for Me, I quickly was inspired to also make some improvements and take some risks. I started by doing the impractical and donated my entire closet to charity. Poof! All of it other then a couple favorite items. I came to realize that I was convincing myself that my style was truly my style just because I could afford it to be. Not because I wanted it to be. So out went the old and in came the new. A more paired down, honest and strict system. One that I borrowed from my time spent in NYC last year after seeing how city dwellers lived within such small confines. I can certainly assure you that each time I open my closet doors now I am in LOVE.
Dream big, dream bold and dream for you. I started a foundation last year. A dream that I held within my heart since my long ago college days. A dream I said repetitively I would get to when the timing was right. What I have learned from spending time with mothers is this....The timing is never right! Not for having a baby, buying that ridiculously expensive leather handbag in trendy orange, or for starting a foundation. There will always be a reason to find an excuse, a need to proclaim the expense will be too costly and for someone to convince you otherwise. Give yourself permission to shrink your DREAMS if you need to. Sometimes thinking small is not always lethal. Despite what consumers may say.
Most importantly take risks. Whatever it is that you define as a risks. For some this may be having dessert for breakfast. Others perhaps a little more life threatening like white water rafting. Whatever the choice may be, honor your soul in the process. Get real on what your risks are for you and YOU alone. Years ago my childhood friend and I made a pack that when we turned 35 we would go skydiving. Well, as it appears that time is currently upon us and as I await her return from Europe I look forward to crossing that endeavor off of my list. Am I apprehensive? Absolutely. However, the feeling of never experiencing such a thing leaves me even more apprehensive. In my opinion 35 years old is a much better time to experience it then at lets say 80. To all the 80 year old's who have...You are my heroes.
STOP doubting yourself before you get a chance to try it. In high school I severely injured my knees from running and competition. To the point that I was informed my likelihood of having knee replacement surgery was extremely high. I gave up running for years and only until last year did I feel inspired to do something about a goal I once had for myself. I always imagined myself running a half marathon. I watched and cheered many of my friends on from the sidelines. Living passionately through them and their successes. Last year I put my best foot forward and completed the Vegas Half for myself, instead of for time. I eliminated the inner dialogue that my knees couldn't sustain the endurance and found that what my knees couldn't stand, was my lack of faith in myself. I finished, recovered and felt so inspired that I have begin to train for the LA Marathon for next year. The best advice I have ever been given is this, "Don't stop yourself before you have had a chance to grow."
One time in your life consider doing what you fear most and then Do It! I have always wanted to spend time in a distant place and experience life through other peoples eyes. Mainly for charitable pursuits and to be of service to others who are greatly in need. Over the years I have considered the peacecore, visiting and staying in ashrams, etc. However, none of those choices have ever come to fruition nor have I pursued them aggressively enough. Recently through a quiet moment I meditated on where I was to be lead to next. Something I do rather often as I look towards universal guidance to spark the flame for my next endeavor. The next day a yoga student of mine informed me of a program where I could teach yoga in Hawaii for a month in exchange for food and board. Now to be quite honest any other time the thought of being away from home for an entire month would terrify me. Not to mention provoke feelings of homesickness before I have set out to buy my ticket and board a plan. This time however, the feeling is very different. One of excitement and intrigue. I have yet to receive all the details but to even consider such an outlandish idea has me feeling alive again.
What I have come to discover is that while I was in search of "Becoming That Girl" I became her. There is still much I wish to experience and many more adventures I hope to add to my own repertoire but in the process I have become someone I can be proud of. Rather I ever make it to a foreign land or not is besides the point. Its all the knowledge, wisdom and events I have stumbled upon throughout the process that is the most rewarding.
~M
What I came to realize over the course of these last few months is this. One day doesn't ever come around unless one creates a reason for it to do so. Unless one chooses to walk on a different side of the street or consciously avoid the hole which leads to the same limited thinking. "Becoming That Girl" doesn't occur over night nor with the same goal minded mentality used previously. Upon finishing up Anna David's book Falling for Me, I quickly was inspired to also make some improvements and take some risks. I started by doing the impractical and donated my entire closet to charity. Poof! All of it other then a couple favorite items. I came to realize that I was convincing myself that my style was truly my style just because I could afford it to be. Not because I wanted it to be. So out went the old and in came the new. A more paired down, honest and strict system. One that I borrowed from my time spent in NYC last year after seeing how city dwellers lived within such small confines. I can certainly assure you that each time I open my closet doors now I am in LOVE.
Dream big, dream bold and dream for you. I started a foundation last year. A dream that I held within my heart since my long ago college days. A dream I said repetitively I would get to when the timing was right. What I have learned from spending time with mothers is this....The timing is never right! Not for having a baby, buying that ridiculously expensive leather handbag in trendy orange, or for starting a foundation. There will always be a reason to find an excuse, a need to proclaim the expense will be too costly and for someone to convince you otherwise. Give yourself permission to shrink your DREAMS if you need to. Sometimes thinking small is not always lethal. Despite what consumers may say.
Most importantly take risks. Whatever it is that you define as a risks. For some this may be having dessert for breakfast. Others perhaps a little more life threatening like white water rafting. Whatever the choice may be, honor your soul in the process. Get real on what your risks are for you and YOU alone. Years ago my childhood friend and I made a pack that when we turned 35 we would go skydiving. Well, as it appears that time is currently upon us and as I await her return from Europe I look forward to crossing that endeavor off of my list. Am I apprehensive? Absolutely. However, the feeling of never experiencing such a thing leaves me even more apprehensive. In my opinion 35 years old is a much better time to experience it then at lets say 80. To all the 80 year old's who have...You are my heroes.
STOP doubting yourself before you get a chance to try it. In high school I severely injured my knees from running and competition. To the point that I was informed my likelihood of having knee replacement surgery was extremely high. I gave up running for years and only until last year did I feel inspired to do something about a goal I once had for myself. I always imagined myself running a half marathon. I watched and cheered many of my friends on from the sidelines. Living passionately through them and their successes. Last year I put my best foot forward and completed the Vegas Half for myself, instead of for time. I eliminated the inner dialogue that my knees couldn't sustain the endurance and found that what my knees couldn't stand, was my lack of faith in myself. I finished, recovered and felt so inspired that I have begin to train for the LA Marathon for next year. The best advice I have ever been given is this, "Don't stop yourself before you have had a chance to grow."
One time in your life consider doing what you fear most and then Do It! I have always wanted to spend time in a distant place and experience life through other peoples eyes. Mainly for charitable pursuits and to be of service to others who are greatly in need. Over the years I have considered the peacecore, visiting and staying in ashrams, etc. However, none of those choices have ever come to fruition nor have I pursued them aggressively enough. Recently through a quiet moment I meditated on where I was to be lead to next. Something I do rather often as I look towards universal guidance to spark the flame for my next endeavor. The next day a yoga student of mine informed me of a program where I could teach yoga in Hawaii for a month in exchange for food and board. Now to be quite honest any other time the thought of being away from home for an entire month would terrify me. Not to mention provoke feelings of homesickness before I have set out to buy my ticket and board a plan. This time however, the feeling is very different. One of excitement and intrigue. I have yet to receive all the details but to even consider such an outlandish idea has me feeling alive again.
What I have come to discover is that while I was in search of "Becoming That Girl" I became her. There is still much I wish to experience and many more adventures I hope to add to my own repertoire but in the process I have become someone I can be proud of. Rather I ever make it to a foreign land or not is besides the point. Its all the knowledge, wisdom and events I have stumbled upon throughout the process that is the most rewarding.
~M
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