The recent months have been quite challenging. As my life literally slowed down to a halt (thanks to the divine universe) I was given the opportunity to receive a mini tune up. Illness is not what most would set as an intention in order to get a little R&R out of life. However, for some of us who do not seem to heed the warning signs, take scheduled breaks or even bother to check in with our own self care while we busy ourselves being crusaders...this is exactly what happens. Its the divine intervention that comes along to periodically remind us to wake up, step out and change it up just a bit because the system we have enlisted to operate our daily functions is not proficient. I being amongst the masses found myself virtually depleted by the time my systems failed.
Thankful for strong friends and bonded family my journey was one gifted of love and blessings as I navigated my way out of what I had created. Yes....created, in order to realign my life to something much more befitting for who I was currently becoming. Being gifted nothing but time I needed to relearn what it meant to "self-care" in a positive way. As I worked through the feelings of guilt and shame, self-worth and many others illuminating my existence as I traveled down a new path, I found clarity. Peace of mind that I wasn't caring what society thought of me. That I wasn't consumed even with what my own mind thought of me. My only focus was upon resting and fulfilling my exhaustion. There is great honesty that comes from when we are unable to escape from ourselves. The honesty that cuts through the half truths, the lies and the fallacies we take on from others to create as our own personal mantras. Through rest, surgery and recuperation I was able to be realigned with my own true voice once again. She is one of balance, truth and stamina.
I am hard pressed to believe that we don't change unless we are inspired or forced to do so. Even then I like to believe we evolve. Keeping the beauty that is in each of us and creating upon that for a brighter more illuminating self. We are challenged daily with obstacles set up to help us succeed and grow. However, in doing so they also challenge our core as well as our principles in how we live. It is for us and us alone to become stronger then that which we face. To care more about ourselves then others do for us and to always listen to that deep intuition which tells us when the image we see does not reflect back what we feel. Each challenge in life is another gifted opportunity for us to become a better version of ourselves. A chance to sit and ponder if we are living a life that represents who we are and where we want to go. Its also a moment to acknowledge that we are doing the best that we can, with what we have, based on where we are currently.
I humbly bow before my personal challenge and say, thank you.....thank you for showing me how to live in a different way then I knew before. Thank you for giving me an excuse to rest when I didn't know how to verbalize it for myself. Thank you for helping me work through the guilt of saying no and setting even better boundaries then previously. Thank you for reminding me of my masculine side so therefore my feminine is now balanced. Thank you for loving me so much that you came in at a time when I needed to learn how to efficiently love myself. All and all may next time I listen to your gentle whisper so I don't need to pay homage to your violent roar.
~M
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