Every since I could remember I have been enthralled with ballet. The grace and precision of movements. The beauty and gleam of the elegant costumes worn during productions like the Nutcracker or Sleeping Beauty. The beauty captured through years of dedication, hard work and discipline, creating a master piece to be shared by the general public. As a little girl placed in every dance class but ballet I envied my friends who were. Classified as having weak ankles early on I was cast aside to to take up activities like tap, tumbling and equestrian riding. However, my heart always belonged to the rhythem of ballet. Fast forwarding decades ahead and now at the ripe age of thirty three I have begun to finally live my childhood dream.
As any Guru will tell you. To dream big is to embrace life. So taking the advice of the Gurus who have graced my former years I decided in a instant to embrace my hearts desire and quickly immersed myself into "The Pointe" or rather the beginner positions of grace. After years of studying yoga I felt there was never a better time to achieve discipline and expand my present day knowledge of the human form. Therefore, choosing to study ballet, that which repetitiously tries and taxes the body. No sooner did I utter my words of want and desire did I become blessed by the Universe. Receiving private lessons from a former yoga client of mine who danced in the New York City Ballet. Having had her own studio and now formerly retired, CD agreed to take me on as her one and only private student. Oh the excitement and glee that penetrated my body transforming me into not that of the present day adult but instead that of the child who's miraculous wish was finally coming true.
I watched as my family, friends and clients honored my decision to dance and supported my efforts. Not only with encouragement but with ballet shoes, outfits and reading material. Basking in their love and praise I have found that it truly is never too late to live out a dream. In the end it is "We" who put a stop to our inner most desires. We who limit proceeding forward. We who's negative self-talk creeps in to destroy that which is beautiful, pure and whole. Telling us lies about not being good enough, pretty enough or young enough. In the end it is We who limit the possibilities for ourselves. When and only when We are able to achieve balance within and calm the voice inside can We further succeed. As I learn intense discipline, curbing the want to cry as my body and positions are rigorously picked over. Allowing the pain I feel within my body to keep me present as I rest my foot on the barre. I finally find myself becoming my own best friend as I leave a lesson tattered, sweaty and looking in shambles. Today I give homage to my practice of yoga through my practice of ballet, relishing in a peaceful heart as I lay silently in Shavasana (Corpse pose). Giving quiet thanks to have this chance to just surrender.....to what currently just is.
~M
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